Ex said I would never be lovable

[KismetJayn]

Because of my complex MH condition.

I manage it well, nobody in my life would notice unless they were an intimate partner or a very, very close friend. Even then I mask it from most of them. DD has no idea. But it's never going away, it will always be part of me. Linked to childhood abuse.

Ex blasted me today that why would anyone want a partner with this condition? No one would choose that. No one would choose someone with this issue..

It's something I've been insecure about for a long time and hit a nerve

No one would want to be with someone this complicated when there are plenty of other normal people to choose from. Why would they? It's hopeless.

I feel like complete shit. A mutual very close friend is also backing him in the breakup. They think I don't have this condition and am using it to manipulate him (I hide it from him! And have been diagnosed by a psychologist with records of symptoms in psych ward notes in the past. Also he observed symptoms when we first met before I was in treatment.)

It's so fucking hurtful because deep down I'm sure they are right. I'm an awful difficult person and no one will ever want to be around me because I'm not worth the effort. As soon as they know I have this disorder I'll be judged and think I'm a freak.

I'm glad he is now an ex, you don't need people like that in your life.

You are lovable just the way you are. Yes, there is still a lot of stigma out there with mental health conditions but also plenty of people who are warm and accepting and loving.

Your ex is a horrible individual. I am sure he is perfect himself. I often find some one who will say something like this because they have to lash out or make another person feal small or worse then they feel themselves.
Keep this individual out of your life as you deserve better. If you have a friend agreeing with your ex spend as little time as possible with them also.
Friends should improve your life and not make you feel bad about yourself.

That is one of those acrimonious things people say at the end of a relationship when they are looking for someone or something to blame or project feelings onto. Who is he to decide that? I wouldn't even bother thinking about it. There are thousands of people with mental health conditions in healthy relationships. It is very narrow minded to say and to not be believed. Its also horrible when things like this are said and I can see why it would be hurtful with the history of a relationship etc but in time you will have perspective, relationships are never black and white and there is always something to learn about yourself. We are all complex beings made up of who we are innately and our experiences and personalities. Diagnosis, while helpful, doesn't define you. It's just a thing to accept and manage. I am glad you have got outside views on this and I hope you can see it's him that is unlikeable. You are only responsible for you in relationship. Everyone has baggage. You decide when a new partner is worth telling and as long as you are honest and upfront and own your shit. Everyone is entitled to their view. I think you'll find people are more understanding than this. Focus on you and positive things, not being around him.