Hi everyone
I’ve seen a few threads on health anxiety but thought I’d start my own.. as unfortunately it seems to be back in full force and I cannot stop googling !
I’m 29 and I’ve worried about my health for as long as I can remember I’ve had worst periods than others and tbh it is just awful.
I’ve obsessed over many illnesses/diseases one of my main ones and one that has come back is HIV I’ve worried about this on and off for about 10 years at one point when I was about 19/20 it took over my life I have however managed to do several tests after breaking down in the clinic and demanding rapid ones (usually only used for high risk cases ) as the wait for my results is to much to bear. I haven’t had a test since my new partner and I am now beside myself again and too scared to test.
My next one which i think is less common was fear I had a serious MH issues such as shizophrenia/ psychosis.. even had assessments obviously all came back I was fine.
Recently I had a abnormal smear with high risk hpv.. had a coloscopy it was all clear I was put back to 3 yearly recall however every now and then it pops up in my head and I obsessively start googling hpv and abnormal smears.. have asked the experts on Jo’s trust website numerous questions and cancer research help line all to be told my clear coloscopy was a good result and I didn’t need to worry.. easier said than done.
MS is new one I’ve had recently as I’ve had quite a bit of shooting pains in my legs and soemtimes other places in my body.. doctor said I have low vitamin D and this could be anxiety. Tends to only be there when I focus on it.
I really wish I could be ‘normal’ and not constantly worry about these things as it effects my daily life when I’m having a flair up. It seemed to go away for a good while but the smear test has triggerd it off again.. I never missed my smears and now I’ll be terrified to go when the 3 years comes around.
I do have a friend who also has health anxiety but most of my friends and my family do not get it at all they make jokes how I’m always at the doctors i admit I did use to be but I’ve got better so I thought.
I’ve had CBT before it helped and I’m on the waiting list now for some more i was told it was 5 week wait and it’s defo been over that now so I need to chase it up.
Does anyone have any tips on how to cope with this ? I live alone so it I have a trigger (can be a tv programme news article etc ) I will sit there and google for hours on end I guess cos I’m here alone with not much to distract me some nights when I’m home from work.. tonight the smear came in to my head again and I’ve been googling loads