Dealing with feeling unsuccesful.

[malificent7]

I have never managed to launch a successful career and create a stable income for myself. I'm retraining and doing really well in exams (99%) but failed an essay. That's not a big deal in itself as i can do it again but my other course mates seem to have succesful side lines thag make lots of money. It seems so extreme to ace an exam but flunk an essay. Ex English teacher so i should excel in this.
I watch talented peolle on tv and see them in magazines and wonder why some people are so gifted whereas people like me permanently struggle.

Instead of berating yourself about 1essay look at the global picture 99% exams(wow!)
So dust yourself down,get some feedback from tutor,and don’t compare self to others
It’s tempting to benchmark and compare to others but that in itself can be demoralising
Cuppa tea,dust yourself down, no pity party and carry on

You are an ex English teacher, this in itself shows you are capable of a successful career! As well as 99% in an exam, that's amazing! Stop beating yourself up.
With essays sometimes it's just a miss understanding of the question, dust yourself off and try again, you can do this 💪🏻

I know i get good ecam results but for me its the lack of financial srability that makes me feel unsuccesful. I don't seem to translate academic success to workplace success. I would rather have business sense or a huge talent than good grades..

Not being flippant,but you’ve got what you’ve got.youre academically able
I have minimal business sense,so knowing that I chose a completely different vocational career
If you don’t naturally or intuitively have a business sense pursue something else
You are v down on yourself though.workplace success can come if you get the right fit,the right job

Maleficent I think you are being very brave to get out there and retrain. Your exam results are obviously great and that should bolster your confidence. As for the essay, were you at least able to find out afterwards why it wasn’t what was required? Ask for feedback if you weren’t given any.

‘Failure’ is often a learning opportunity in disguise! That’s what my DS’s primary school HT used to say, anyway, and I believe him.

There’s nothing wrong with not being an entrepreneur. You have your own skill set which is just as valuable. There will be a rewarding job out there which requires those skills.

All the highly successful people you see on tv and in magazines are not representative of most of humanity.

I hope you have family and friends who can cheer you on from the sidelines. If not, I’m here with my pom-poms doing a little dance for you!

Thank you. My dad said that the exam must have been too easy! I think i got a high wvore as i worked bloody hard.
I wish i was better at negotiating workplace politics..i might have a career then. I have bpd which has made it hard.

Don’t be so down on yourself,you’re clearly v able
You just need to find the right environment and fit for your personality
Be careful of assuming everyone else has it fugured,chances are they’re finding it hard too. But just don’t crack a light about it
I wish you well in your studies, ask for tutor feedback about the essay (and see the essay as a minor glitch not a defining moment)

If you have BPD, that is likely to be the main issue. My dh has similar issues, although no official diagnosis. He’s also an ex teacher, currently retraining and would definitelu view himself as unsuccessful. He struggled a lot with the workplace due to fear of criticism etc and workplace politics. Like him, I imagine your struggles make life very difficult.

It also sounds as if you have an unsupportive Dad (maybe one of the causes of your struggles?). My dh’s parents would say something similar - if they even showed any interest in his course!

Don’t be hard on yourself, you’ve got a lot to deal with. Have you had any therapy to deal with your issues? My dh is having some at the moment and it’s definitely been helpful.