Depressed or just lonely and stressed?

[feelinglowmama]

Hi,

I don't know if I should see a GP or not about my feelings...

I have a great DS who is 3. He is the light of my life, demanding (probably just normally so, luckily he is very healthy and never caused us too many health related worries).

I never thought I would have children so the fact he is here and fit and healthy astounds me every day.

Then I got pregnant with DS2. We wanted DS1 to have a sibling, but I didn't enjoy being pregnant and spent a lot of my pregnancy worrying about how his arrival would effect my relationship with DS1.

Since he's been here, DS2 has been sick, on and off, and we have ongoing concerns about his development, he is 8 months old and not doing much, and he is very small. Today the health visitor agreed to refer him to a pediatric team so we can figure out exactly what is wrong with him, and then we can move on and hopefully get him moving (literally).

Anyway, where do my feelings come into all this? I don't feel like I have bonded with DS2, and I am tired of worrying about him. I feel down a lot of the time, and because he is so behind with his development, I don't take him out to baby groups, because I hate seeing what other, even younger babies can do.

My relationship with DH has been adversely affected. We argue a lot of the time, and little things that he does annoy me.

I don't know if I am depressed, or if I just need to get out more - find out what is wrong with DS2 and have some more social interaction for him and me.

I am concerned that if I do tell the GP about my feelings that they may decide I am an unfit mother and take my children away from me...

Thanks for reading,

(in case you're wondering, this is not my first post, I have just changed my name...)

[meeshy]

Hi

I really feel for you. I am not great at the looking after babies and being on your own all day thing either. When ds1 was joined by ds2 I literally made myself plan something each day, whether it be a toddler group, trip to the park, swimming etc etc.

ds2 will be OK - you will get him referred to a specialist and you will work it out together. Jusr make sure even the smallest thing is made into a little treat for you - have a coffee every time you go to the park, even put the kids in creche for an hour and read a mag - I did that every Tuesday morning.

I now have ds1, 2 and 3 and am glad to be working as well as a mum

[feelinglowmama]

Thank you so much for your message Meeshy. DH is concerned too and has arranged three physio sessions for DS (HV told us today we'd have to wait 8 weeks for the assessment).

You are so right about having something planned everyday. If the weather is good tomorrow, we will have a picnic in the park (DS1 is off nursery tomorrow).

Yes we will get things sorted with DS2, we are probably all guilty of too long "waiting and seeing", so I do feel happier now that we are getting some help for DS2.

I am so happy to hear that things are working out for you and your 3 DSs,