Is this normal?

[Rosebud46]

I am experiencing daily suicidal thoughts (not going to act on them) and hopelessness knowing that I am not feeling right, however I have researched depression and see that there are many symptoms, that I simply do not have. I look after myself and attend to my personal hygiene and never neglect myself. I eat normally and sleep pretty much normally.

Is it suicidal ideation you're experiencing, planning the suicide, but not actively wanting to carry it out; or is it more than that?
I've been told that suicidal ideation can be a pretty normal thing to do (I do suffer from mental illnesses so maybe they meant just for me) and it's when they become intrusive and you start wanting to act on them that it becomes a problem.

Daily suicidal thoughts suggest to me that you definitely need some form of assistance, and as soon as possible. Sometimes emotions don't come into it, as much as the suicidal thoughts themselves, which can become dangerously seductive.

I've been depressed and still slept well, washed, looked after myself. It was more what my mind was telling me; sweeping feelings of doom; the fact that nothing that once brought me joy, did anymore (not even Spring time and the sun); and my cognitive functioning was poor enough that it was that much harder to string a sentence together.

I don't know whether these thoughts are ideation or real. I'm not sure whats real anymore. I'm just trying to hold myself together in life

I'm battling the thoughts with all the things that are good in life

Please get some help now, Rosebud.

Yes it is normal. Everyone thinks things like that at periods. It is natural for an active mind.

I still do all my normal daily activities and go to work Monday-Friday and to everyone else I probably appear ok. But I feel detached from everything I do and have it all in the forefront of my mind