What do you do when you know someone is suicidal?

[Biancadelrioisback]

Sorry for the lack of details here, I'm really worried about being outed.
I've just found out that a close relative of mine has been contemplating suicide. Apparently they had planned it all out and was meant to be around now. Their plans had to change due to their partner finding out and other stuff going on. I've found out by accident.
I can't explain fully but I can't speak to anyone about this because it could cause more problems.
I don't know what to do. The person in question can't know I know but I also can't sit back and do nothing.
What can I do?

If you can't speak to the person directly then you need to find someone else to do it. If there's a plan then the person really needs to be in hospital. Can you call Samaritans for advice or police if you think they are going to do something imminently ( and it sounds like you do)

Look up ALGEE, mental health first aid.

Unfortunately there really isn’t anything you can do. The family or partner of he person needs to try and get the crisis team involved. Unfortunately they are often worse than useless

Can you call them and just ask "How are you?" You don't have to say why you are worried about them (or even that you are concerned) just that you found yourself thinking about them. If they open up then you can try to point them towards Samaritans or other help.

Thank you

I've asked the person to meet up (they dont know I know) for a chat but I'm not terrified that I'll make things worse! I have no idea what I'm going to say or do.
My relative has basically pushed everyone close away over the years which doesn't help

I feel your worry I'm going through the same with my 20 yr old son. It's heart breaking as like your friend he's planned it. Breaks my heart this . I tool my son see doctor they referred him to professional help . Which were going later this week. It's so terrifying and makes you feel I can't exsplain

At crisis point you need to ask them directly if they are suicidal. There are a lot of good websites to help heysigmund.com, the conversation.com, speaking of suicide.com

You need to call the police OP, they have to make a welfare check and get a the wheels in motion to properly put support in place

Show the person in question that you care and your there. Start by saying you don't seem your self latley and your concerned.

It’s a very very difficult situation to be in and I sympathise - I’ve been there more than once and it feels like a huge responsibility, especially if you’re the only one who knows. I find the only thing you can do, if the person doesn’t initiate a specific conversation about it or doesn’t want to discuss it, is to be a non-judgemental listening ear. I know that can be hard when you’re worried sick but just being there and letting someone know that you’re thinking of them can mean the world.

Thanks

Hi I'm sure if my questions are on here just wanted see. And if they are i no I'm jumping on the bag baggon just need help to

As someone else mentioned, these can be used in various orders:
A- ask if they are suicide
L- listen non judgemental
G- Give reassurance
E- Encourage to seek professional help
E- Encourage to self care

The best way to broach the topic of suicide is by being calm and non judgemental. Reflecting on the red flags they have shown , reassuring them you care and want to help then ask the direct question. I.e I've noticed you seem very down and are withdrawing from everyone. It's made me really worried about you and I want to help If I can. Do I need to ask, are you thinking about suicide?

Samaritans will be able to provide you with support as well of you are worried about it. You sound like a lovely, caring person x

*so I need to ask, are you thinking about suicide? Sorry noticed the mistake x

And remember you are not responsible for their actions. You can only do so much for another adult. But don’t avoid talking about it- ask and offer support to access services etc.

Hi can u tell me if my mess are coming on I'm new on here plze x

Yes Annieeex we can see them

Thank you . I'm new on here means a lot . Xxx

As I no you can all see I just wanted to thank the person who is going through the worry and headache for a family member . As I to right there headache .wondered if any of you been through the same with your own son/ daughter. My son has very bad anxiety to . Feel awful talking bout my son behind his back. Just want no if your child has got over this awful ilness . My son should be having the time of his life he's so alone and in himself . It's heartbreaking crying depressed . I just like to no if this depression and anxiety will leave him . Then he can enjoy his life which he deserves x

Meant to say to the person for having the guts to say something. Just shows people will help x

What will you do OP?

I've asked them to meet me next week for a catch up. We aren't close but are very closely related if that makes sense so this probably seems a bit strange for them that I've asked.
Thank you for all your suggestions, I like the ALGEE technique and will try and use that. I'm worried if I come out and ask them then they will know how I found out and it could make things worse. If I allude to me having noticed that they are withdrawing and don't seem them self then it might give them the platform to open up? I'm hoping so.
More than anything I want to speak to a specific person about this but I just cant for reasons I can't go into.
In the meantime I'm sort of listening in from afar. We're in a WhatsApp group together so keep addressing questions to them to include them in the conversation and have casually asked some mutual friends if they've seen them recently.

Your friend/ relative fortunate to have someone aware and looking out for them. How you've come to know and are now watching out for them is very kind.

I am your friend (well not literally) and no one knows or has even guessed what's going on at my end. While I want to be left to my own devices it would be comforting to know someone had some insight and forethought to ask and be kind.

I hope it's works out ok for the person you are supporting

@Cheeseroll if you want to talk send me a DM.
Can't promise I can help in anyway but if you want to vent at an unbiased stranger please do!

@Biancadelrioisback

Thank you so much. It's very kind of you to offer, it made me smile to read that. I don't want to load you with more concerns however when you have your friend to be concerned with.

You sound lovely