I’ve been suffering with it for 20 years since I was a young teenager - never received help for it as my parents said I was just being a typical teenager and refused to take me to a doctor. I suffered in silence, self harmed in secret and wanted to die. When I met my ex husband there was an improvement, when I fell pregnant with our first child and got married I thought I had ‘recovered’ I finally had a purpose and my suicidal thoughts stopped. However I am now divorced from my husband as he cheated on me and is now married with a baby to this woman. I stay strong for my children and would never do anything silly as I know they need me, but I just feel so down and lonely constantly. People notice but aren’t sure how to help me.
I have a small group of friends with very busy work schedules/families of their own so we see/speak to each other 1-3 times a month which is fine but very difficult for me to go that long without another adult to spend time with. Finding a new partner is hopeless and I just feel like I’m destinied to be alone and deal with these feelings forever. My job makes me unhappy which doesn’t help but I can’t leave as I have a mortgage to pay.
Will I ever see the light at the end of the tunnel after dealing with this for so many years? All I do is cry, have headaches and wish for a better life with no idea how I can achieve that. No family support I am completely alone and feel trapped. Any advice or how you came out of this dark time I’d really appreciate some help