Help me help my sister

[lboogy]

My sister is in her early 30s is single and childless
She owns a flat and lives alone . She is a serial job hopper and at the slightest work conflict , she's off. I don't think she's worked anywhere for longer than a year. She's clearly good at her job since her bosses always beg her to stay.

She's a recluse, has some friends but almost always cancels plans with them. She's been like this since childhood, it doesn't help that our dad was very strict so we weren't allowed to socialise much. She's had a handful of failed relationships. She's always interested in fun outgoing guys when she herself is nothing like that. Not to mention she's interested in guys who have a lot of options and or are not interested in settling down. Lucky she is fairly quick to dump them once they start behaving badly.

My sister has loads of mood swings and the smallest thing will lead her to cut off contact with me and my parents . She's a chronic depressive. She's attempted suicide before. Last Christmas I had to get the police to breakdown her door as she cut off contact with the family and I was scared she had committed suicide. She didn't speak to me for 6 months because she said I'd embarrassed her in front of all her neighbour
The same Christmas period she crashed her car after a heavy night of drinking. She woke up disoriented and got into the car thinking it was a work day. Luckily no one else was injured

Every 6 months she's in crisis. She had a falling out with her boss recently and he sent her a nasty letter after she turned down a perm post that he'd gone to great effort to get for her. Now she wants to leave her field of study altogether and has been applying for jobs but not getting them . This has lead to her latest bout of depression . She's started drinking . I've tried to visit her but she turns me away. I send her positive messages when I remember. I have a 8 month old so I don't have much time to fully support her

I've suggested counselling and offered to go with her but she's refused. She's been having suicidal though again according to my mum.

I don't know how to else to help her. Can someone suggest something?
Thanks in advance

Hello, have you tried ringing the free Mind Infoline? They may be able to help. So sorry not to be able to suggest more. Does she have a diagnosed mental health condition? If there is s local rethink group in her area that might also be a source of support? Would she go to GP? 💐

Your sister sounds like she has loads of really great support factors in her life. She owns her own flat which means she has security and is motivated to keep working. She is able to get jobs easily and clearly does well in them. She's naturally introverted and chooses men who are the opposite which isn't uncommon. She's dating and having fun and hasn't settled yet.

I empathise as I have a relative with issues and the amount of Christmas-ses that have been ruined...I don't think they see it like that. I guess, Christmas is a stressful time so issues are more likely to flare up around then. I guess say you acknowledge she needs space but a text to let you know she is okay?

Other suggestions: cards to let her know you are thinking of her, plan to do something fun or pampering when you do meet / can see her. Don't take any more on than you can, your health / family is more important. She needs to access a plan for life so she can take care of her needs and enjoy things. When she gets a job she could see whether the employer has an anonymous assistance programme, where she can access quick free counselling and other wellness resources. Also have a look at Wellness Recovery Action Plans. The other route to support is through the GP, often a course of CBT therapy, medication; maybe your mum could take her. And of course the Samaritans. best wishes.

Thanks everyone. I meant to call mind but forgot with my own life admin to take care of. It's so exhausting caring about someone who doesn't want to help themselves.

I text her almost everyday so at least she's responsive. I'll just keep offering support and hope for the best