DH and I have been staying with FIL for a few days as we don’t see him often. He is a high earning professional and has remained single since his amicable divorce with MIL. We are so concerned about the way he is living. He’s mid 40s, him and MIL were teen parents but were always well off and supported.
The house is falling to pieces! Foliage growing inside the conservatory and into the structure of the house. Mould and damp everywhere, water leaking from the bathroom into the kitchen, carpets covered in cat vomit and years of dirt. FIL appears to never clean his home. I don’t think he takes good care of himself either as DH and I had to clean excrement from the bath before using it. It appears he isn’t wiping himself and going straight in the tub
There is also a cat in the house that is underweight and left alone most of the time. He hasn’t bothered paying enough attention to its eating habits so it doesn’t like the food and never eats it properly. We’ve had to buy some different food for it ourselves. FIL can more than afford a cleaner, pet sitter etc. He spends all his money on vinyls, collectibles, gadgets and video games. He has around £1m worth of stuff in his house, yet it looks like it’s being squatted in if I’m honest! He doesn’t drive so has a lot of extra cash. Every time we visit he’s made another big purchase and not done anything with the house.
We don’t know what to do or say to him. He’s very reserved and quite rude if I’m honest as he ignores us most of the time. He mostly demands DH does things in the house like emptying the bin and changing the cat litter. DH wants a better relationship with him but it’s like pulling teeth. We were thinking he may have severe depression and maybe some ASD. I have been reading about adult social services and thought it might be worth giving his local council a ring. Sorry if it’s long, we’re so desperate we can’t let him keep living like this