To want to end my life

[starsparkle08]

I have a child aged 7 with autism adhd and learning difficulties . Additionally I have survived being raped . Often I wish I was dead even looking aboard for clinics but then feel awful . Mental health team have advised Samaritans . Samaritans vary massively with advise . Wish I was dead

You have done so well to cope with so much, I admire you.
I'm here if you want to chat.

Where in the country are you? (Roughly). Do you have any real life support?

Are you getting any support OP? Both with your DC and your own mental health? Have you told your MH Team that you wish you were dead? They need to do more than just advise you call the Samaritans.

Keep posting. Look how far you've already come from where you were.

Try to break things into bite sized time frames? Ie the next hour, get pj's on, sort stuff for the morning, get to bed. Tomorrow morning break it down again, etc. Then get yourself a Dr appointment as an emergency and get them to help, beg them. Your life is worth so much, you will leave a shadow, a black hole not being here.

Keep typing, keep talking.

Do you usually experience these thoughts or has there been a trigger?
Suicidal ideation,doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll act upon the thoughts
people can have suicidal ideation without enacting suicidal intent/plan
You must talk to your CMHT for advice and/or treatment
If it all get too overwhelming you can go to A&E ask for psychiatric liasion

I hope you get help and support

Couldn't read and run. I'm sorry that things are really difficult for you right now.

Have you anyone in rl that you can talk to about how you're feeling?

I'm afraid mental health services are generally very poor across the country
and they will try to push you to voluntary organisations in the first instance. If you feel you need some support please call your local crisis team or book a GP appointment and insist on them giving you access to support.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.
We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

Maybe you need to call the Samaritans tonight love? If you aren't happy with who you speak to then they'll transfer you?

My youngest is disabled, I'm also disabled. It's fucking hard to live sometimes ❤

Hand to hold here OP. 💗
I think MNHQ should be along soon with some useful info they tend to post on threads like these, but just to let you know you are NOT alone - there are lots of us out there with friendly ears (eyes really) to listen to what things are like for you and to offer support.

💐

Please go to your GP.

And I agree that you’ve done so well to cope with very difficult circumstances.

The mods are on it like a car bonnet tonight. Thanks @MNHQ ❤️

Do you have the number for your crisis team op?

Hi,

You can go to A&E for emergency mental health if you need too and the Samaritan’s aren’t helping. Not many people are aware of that so apologies if you do.

Do you have support around you, anyone you can trust to speak too?

I can’t begin to imagine how you’re feeling but please know you are not alone. You’ve done so well to reach out to the MH team already, have you told them you wish you were dead? If so and they haven’t done anything please do go to A&E. They can and will help you.

OP, i can't give much more advice than you've had already, except perhaps to go to A and E. Medical emergencies aren't just for physical health.

Your life IS worth living, even if you can't see it right now. You are a human being and are loved. Your DC needs you. Please keep seeking RL help. You will be glad you did eventually.

op
You sound like an incredible person who has had a lot to deal with. As pps have said, A&E or urgent gp app in the morning. I really hope you get the support and help you need

Thankyou all will try to get help in the morning ,

Best of luck OP.

OP, how did it go today?

Hope you're doing ok OP

I didn’t manage to get in at go surgery .
I had drunk a bit too much last night which definitely didn’t help my mood . Have felt very low today also but a bit more in control of things .
Thankyou for asking

Glad you're not feeling as bad today but I hope you get in touch with some support so at least if you end up at a low ebb again, you have support in place.

I don't know anything about the problems you're facing, perhaps it would be of help to try and identify what you're struggling with and maybe once you have a list of these things, look at strategies to avoid or lessen those problems/worries (if possible)
Sorry if it sounds condescending. My husband had mh issues and found lists and planning helpful , so wondered whether it might help you.

I hope you have friends/family that can help support you, both mentally and practically. Take care

Hi OP, I also have a 7 yo with ASD & learning difficulties. Life is hard, but worth it. OP I do really hope you get some support irl please keep us posted x

Thinking of you OP. Hope today brings good things to you. 💐

OP, I hope you don't think this is patronising, but so found it helpful to keep a gratitude journal when I've felt overwhelmed, stressed out or low.

Some tips here positivepsychologyprogram.com/gratitude-journal/

Thankyou for replies and I will look at the link posted too xx