Do you pretend to the outside world that your happy and enjoying life when in reality you sometimes feel you are dying?

[Goodmum1234]

Hello,
Everyone thinks I’m so happy, smiley, friendly but inside I’m so sad, lonely, isolate myself and sometimes feel like ending it. No one would ever guess, they’d never believe how low I sonetimes feel....at work, with family, and on the school playground.

Anyone sometimes like this too?

Yes...nearly everyday. Good days and bad. I often feel people would be better without me.

I recently wrote a thread but never went back to it as I couldn't bare reading what people might have written.

I have just got in touch with a depression and anxiety service. Just waiting for a reply.

How long have you felt like this. Can you remember how it started or was there anything that set it off? Or just a spiral of stuff?

#you’re

P.s I have just got back from a run. It always gives me a little boost. But I can never keep it up even though I know it's good for me.

It started 2011 with horrendous undiagnosed (kept it a secret) PND then a huge family trauma. I’ve had CBT andbits brilliant but this never really goes away. I’m on a low today. Sorry you feel
It too x

I think we all have thoughts like this about ourselves. Sometimes it's hard to get up and get on. But the only person who can do it is ourselves. Friends and family's are key to help but ultimately it is up to us all to make sure we act when we feel this way.

Yes, I have CBT twice as an adult and a bit of counselling as a child, but the CBT seems to just drift away somehow. My negative thoughts about myself just seem to intrude and take over.

First thing I would say is exercise, fresh air and eat well (advice I need to take too) and this definitely helps to lighten your mind and give you a natural boost. Humans are supposed to expell energy and keep ourselves fit. Very hard in today's world though.

Secondly, my husband says this to me often and so do friends when I do talk about it is...you are worth it.

Thirdly, make sure you communicate with loved ones and get more counselling if you feel you can take that step.

I know all this stuff but I still don't do it for myself.

Agree.
I’m very over weight (was once so slim), high bmi 38 atvlast count, never exercise, over eat but did give up smoking a month ago. I’m high risk for getting diabetes, and cancer so at a low ebb. I know eat less exercise more but just can’t bloody do it!! I’m unattractive and feel everyone would be better off with out me, Also I’m struggling with the intense mental pain it causes most days.

Oh bless you OP. I am off to bed but I wanted to say I am thinking of you and I will reply to you tomorrow. You have got me thinking about things now! Positive thoughts to you and have a good night's rest.

Also wanted to say try sleep meditations on YouTube at bed time. I find they help me relax and switch off. The deep breathing is very good for you and it's a good way of thinking of anything but the negative thoughts spiralling around your head stopping you from getting the rest you need to actually revive yourself and help yourself get better.

Good sleep is a must for mental health.

How do you sleep?

I could literally sleep all night and day. Too much sleep for definite bit sometimes awful dreams as so much on my mind x

Yes. I've been there. I had to stop hiding behind my facade in order to face it and today I'm having better days.
Putting on a front was like putting a plaster over how I felt.
I've said on here before but I really recommend 'At last a life' Paul David.

Being an actress form 7.00 in the morning until 11.00 at night is draining on both your physical and psychological health.

Are you doing what makes you happy or are you what you think will make you accepted?
Don't confuse real happiness with validation from others.

I try to do something each day to make myself feel better and keep myself focused.
I struggle with depression have weeks of being fine then one week, I feel like I'm going to burst into tears in front of anyone I talk too.
I understand how you feel. But please keep talking to people you trust or stay on here and people on here can support you.

Yes sometimes you have to slap a face on. Sometimes it helps to do that. However its also important to talk about how you are feeling with someone and not bottle it up as that can make it worse.