All too much

[KismetJayn]

I'm separating from my partner. He's selfish, tells constant lies and berates me a lot.

I've got a really intense offer for Oxbridge uni. I've got the grades they wanted but have to do a lot of additional work and I barely understand it, I'm terrified I won't get in.

If I do get in, how am I going to settle with DD there when I can't afford housing after college accomodation? We'll be homeless when I finish, and I'm going to have to give up my lovely cat either way. I'll have to somehow get her a late school place too. And then again, three years later, if I have to move to God knows where after finishing. There's no social housing in the area. Everywhere is no DSS.

I don't have any job prospects if I can't get in via education. Before studying for uni I tried for months getting turned down for everything even Sainsbury's.

I have no family because they are abusive.

I have DID which I'm managing well but have missed 2 appts due to therapist's training. It's fucking exhausting work and I'm a recovering/recovered anorexic but am now almost overweight and feel shit about it.

My friends are always embroiled in drama and I can't keep up.

And I was just rejected by my 2nd choice uni so if I don't get into Oxbridge I'm well and truly fucked.

I don't know how to cope with all of this.

Hey,
I know what I'm about to suggest isn't much but maybe try some yoga/relaxation methods. It'll keep your nerves down and you'll be able to think more clearly.

On the whole feeling horrible about the way you look, you shouldn't, I'm sure you're beautiful the way you are.

And withbstudies and work, you are trying your hardest and that's the most anyone can ever ask from you. You're doing an amazing job just don't loose yourself in the process, keep your chin up, we're all here for you hun xx

I read your post and just thought oh wow!
Good for you for leaving your partner.
Good for you for applying for uni.
Im sorry I don't have good advise for the rest of your post but please take a moment and pat yourself on the back for being such a strong woman.

Thank you. I've tried some relaxation but it's just so, so exhausting doing this every day!

I feel like I can't see a way through, every path ends somewhere just as bad. I don't have a choice to be strong, I just have to keep going!