Would you want to know if your child was struggling with mental health?

[Teapot77]

Hello,

Thought I'd switch this around! Should I tell my parents how I'm feeling?

I have lived away from home for 5 years now, still early 20s but have been struggling with mental health issues for the past year whilst at university. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and have organised regular counselling. My closest friends are aware of how I'm feeling although don't ever go into detail.

My parents live abroad and so I don't want to worry them unnecessarily, I'm close to both of them but don't know where I'd start! Is there anything they can even do to help?...

Any help is much appreciated x

Personally, yes I would, that way I’d be able to support them.
Sorry to hear what your going through, I know myself it’s not easy.

Yes I would want to know

I would want to know. Of course. How else could I help?

Yes of course, I would be upset if my daughter felt she had to keep things from me to spare my own feelings.

Could you maybe send them an email (or to the parent you are closest to) explaining how you feel? Maybe just what you have said here, that you have been to the doctor and are seeking counselling.

My Mum lives 2 minutes away but doesn't 'do' feelings very well so sometimes I email her to let her digest what I have told her, then we can talk about it.

Yes, I would want to know. My 19yo dd1 lives away from home (locally) and is on antidepressants and having counselling, I can't imagine not being able to support her (and we pay for her counselling sessions). Tell your mum, if you can, and I hope you start to feel better soon.

Yes I'd want to know. DD has MH issues and hid them for 6 months when she was 15. Found out at 16. Have done my v best to support her. She's 20 now and shares everything. It has brought us very close.

Take care op. Look after yourself and trybto share with those who love you x

Possibly going against the grain here. Personally, I would want to know, but if your parents live overseas, are they in a situation where they could actually do anything to help you? It may be very difficult for them to know about your situation but feel powerless to support you as they would want to.

What do you want?
Yes I would want to know. But it would be up to my child if they wanted to tell me. (I hope they would.) I would be glad to help in any way I could.

JRMisOdious - this is my worry, they are so far away that being able to help is difficult for them. I don't want to put them in a situation where they feel guilty for living abroad...

Would they feel worse if they found out you didn't tell them because they live abroad?

TBH I would stop worrying about them and decide what you want. Do you want to be able to mention going to counselling etc or do you not want to talk about it?

Let me switch it back. If your parents were ill in any way wouldn't you want to know? It is our right to care for our loved ones of my dd or Dom or anyone in my family was unwell in anyway and kept it from me I would be so upset.

I didn't tell my parents when I was in this position because they have a history of not responding well to my or my siblings' emotional needs, and in the end accepting the way my parents are has been a big part of my recovery. For me it was the right decision, but I would've loved to be able to tell them, had we had that sort of relationship. My guess is that most families are open to this sort of disclosure, and that it would help recovery in most situations.