I am really struggling, I ruin everything

[namechanged4thisthread]

Just that really. I am toxic and spoil everything. Having trouble processing family life and feel they would be better without me. My GP says I have BPD. I just wish I had a switch I could turn off and just not exist anymore.

Please go and see your GP and tell them how you are feeling. You are worthy and relevant. You need some help.

I am sure you are not toxic and don't ruin everything! You might need to get help with your feelings. BPD is a treatable illness. Your family love you no matter what's happened.

I saw my Gp today. Sat there in tears but talked about my heart condition. See GP every three weeks, he books me in when I am there.

Psychiatrist says I don't have BPD, GP who knows me says I do. No diagnosis from Psych, even after two admissions.

Why do you feel you are toxic and your family would be better without you??? I’m sure they don’t feel like that and they would miss you so much. Keep going back to the docs and telling them how you feel, you need a diagnosis

I am probably the MIL from hell. Bet there is a thread about me if I look hard enough. Toxic, my poor DH puts up with me and is going to lose his family as a result.

You the mother in law that turns up unannounced ?
If you are from that thread you just need to respect what others request of you especially in their own home 🏠

If not i am at a loss as to why you think you are toxic ? I am sure it’s not as bad as you think but give 2 things that make you toxic ... and how you would like to behave or be instead x x

Thats not me.

Toxic 1 - DS1 hates me. Toxic 2 - DS1's gf hates me. And I probably deserve it.

Your DH obviously loves you, why do you think you are the MIL from hell?

DS1 & GF pushed beyond boundaries, even though we said no many times, they ignored us. I became physically unwell and to cut a long story short, we argued and she egged my son on to attack me. I told her what I thought of her, how she had changed my gentle son into attacking me.