Having a bad few days

[myexisanasshole]

I'm having a bad few days. I feel all panicky and even had an attack in front of my kids on Sunday, I haven't had one for ages and don't really know why it happened. I am having problems with my ex husband and I'm worried about my daughter as she seems anxious and won't sleep. My son is also very clingy and isn't eating. I feel like it's all my fault and I'm screwing them up for life. I'm frightened of being in my own home as I'm worried ex will turn up. Whenever my phone goes I think it's him, he even sent his mum over on Friday because I didn't answer his text. I'm not very good when I don't know what's happening and I always imagine the worst and I'm scared he will try and take my babies from me even though I'm now stable/out of my breakdown. I'm also not really sleeping because I lie awake worrying. I don't want him to get to me like this as I know he's trying to push me back to where i was 2 months ago and I'm scared he might get what he wants. Stress is a big factor for me and can induce manic episode in me and I'm so worried it might happen (although no signs yet). It's just one big worry mixed with paranoia and mum guilt!

I’m so sorry you feel like this. Do you have anyone you can talk to? Have you seen the GP?

I hope this will pass soon. It is a pity that you feel that way.

I have called the Dr this morning as im feeling very anxious and agitated. Plus I didn't sleep at all last night 😢

I'm sorry you feel like this. It's good you've made an appointment with a doctor and can talk it through with them.

Tiredness will not be helping as it can increase anxiety and it's hard to think straight!

First of all you sound like a great Mum because you sound like you really care about your children. You aren't going to ruin their lives - because you clearly care! Also Mum guilt is so common and you can't expect to have everything sorted and under control all the time - you expect a lot from yourself. Try and be nice to yourself - you're having a stressful time and coping best you can.

Sounds like the ex is triggering all sorts of things so maybe think of some strategies (write them down if it helps) to help with that. EG does the beep of your phone make you anxious? Can you put it on silent sometimes when you need a break or just reply sometimes to say you're busy and will respond shortly? Is there a friend you could call if you're worried about him coming round?

Sounds like a lot of things have built up and it's all tangled up. Sometimes When I get this I try and separate all the things out and realise they are small manageable problems and I can only deal with one at a time.

Be honest with doctor and be nice to yourself now - you are doing so well xx