Just that really. I have periods of depression, usually because of external situations. Ive seem counsellors but only go for about 5 sessions and then quit. I find talking about myself, who I am etc very confusing and it just seems to make everything worse. I don’t have a sense of my ‘self’ at all. I find it awful to have to talk to someone about it but I also get very low and need something to happen to help.
Yesterday I had a long chat with a relative who also has periods of depression, but they affect them much worse than mine affect me. I was talking about the last few years when I was really struggling, really finding it hard not to hurt myself (I don’t talk about that irl though) and thinking all the time about suicide. Today I just feel like shit. I guess it’s brought it all up again but I just can’t really see how to deal with this all if the thing that’s meant to be helpful just makes it worse.
Anyway, I’d like to know if anyone else feels similarly and, if so, what you do that does help. Thanks.