Hello all,
Searching for some advice and personal experiences.
I’ve been with my partner for 6 months now (known him for a year, we were really good friends beforehand and clicked instantly).
I’m 27 he’s 39, both of us suffer with anxiety and depression and we’ve always been incredibly open about that from day one. We didn’t just dive in to the relationship, we sat and talked about what we both wanted out of life and being with one another and went from there. The last 6 months have been amazing, he’s incredibly kind, loving, outgoing and has an amazing personality. There’s never been a cross word and we’ve always been able to just talk about anything that could be an issue, like I say, super open with one another, never any games or bullsh*t. He can be painfully blunt, but so can I, so it works.
We’ve been making plans for the future, but for the last two weeks he has gone off the grid. He quit his job, told me he’d done it and why (frustrated, self inflicted stress and other people stirring the pot) and that was the last I heard until Friday.
I managed to have a very brief phone call with him on Friday night after hearing through the grapevine he had got his job back and been working for a few days. He has reassured me it isn’t just me he’s cut out, but everyone, and that he just can’t deal with people at the moment. I know him enough to know that he would end the relationship if he didn’t want to be in it (like I say, blunt and no game playing) and I gave him the opportunity to tell me if he didn’t want to be with me there and then, and he didn’t say no.
All he could say was that he knows he’s being unfair, I need to respect his space, he’s in a dark headspace at the moment and he doesn’t know what he wants or what he’s doing.
There have been no signs that it’s the relationship causing issues, I do genuinely believe in my heart that he doesn’t want to end the relationship as he honestly would have done it then, and if he didn’t want to speak to me he’d have put the phone down (I called his work phone as he isn’t responding at all on personal phone).
I know that all I can do is give him his space he’s asked for to sort his head out (his words not mine) but I guess it’s just unbelievably hard to sit here with no contact from someone I love and regularly tells me he loves me back, and especially having gone from 3/4 calls a day and texting to nothing.
I will also add I have intention of walking away at this point, he’s been there for me and I want to be there for him.
I’ve been there before where I was so low I didn’t want to speak to anyone, and to be honest, I physically couldn’t have a conversation. I didn’t answer the phone or reply, I just went to work and came home so I do have a level of understanding but it’s hard to be on the other side of it. I just miss him terribly and want to speak to others who have experienced this or something like it?
Thanks x