Working With BPD

[Prinstress]

If you have BPD, what do you do for work and how do you manage your symptoms to stay in work?

I’ve never held down a job for longer than 6 months (without going long term sick).

I’ve never had an interview and not been offered job, it’s staying in the job that is so hard!

I’ve no career goals to steer me, just interested in how other people manage... I’ve always done best self employed but that only lasts as long as my good periods.

Do you mean bi-polar or borderline personality?

Bordeline, sorry should’ve made that clearer.

Bump...

I used to. I've had various full time admin jobs but I'd get burnt out so quickly and have more sick days than holidays.

I don't think working in an office is a good idea for people with BPD. I have to choose when I interact with people and being forced into such intimacy of constantly being with someone all day is exhausting. I'd get sucked into office mentality, was bullied, struggled to cope when I made mistakes.

Then I had the children and I haven't worked since because they have additional needs.

I have qualifications, I just don't feel capable of anything long term.

Being self employed would be a dream but what could I do? What kinds of things did you do?

I didn't answer OP because my experience is with bi-polar not Borderline, but actaully for so many people with MH issues, employment is a problem. I've always been self employed. It means I don't make much money but only because I stick to hours I can cope with, and cut right back during the dodgy seasons of the year when I tend to get ill.

Anastasia, it depends what you are good at but anything from dog walking, cleaning, making curtains to tutoring, copy editing, translating etc. Of course it's still problematic when you get ill and have to let clients down, but there can be ways round that. If you have a good network of people in the same trade who understand your issue then you can field the work to them instead.

Ask to see a mental health occupational therapist.

I have BPD and have had so many jobs I've lost count!

Like you I usually get any job I apply for but I cannot maintain going to work everyday and getting along with my colleagues. I find it hugely stressful.
My last job was in 2017 when I literally had a breakdown in my workplace and walked out, got in my car and never went back.
I can't really see myself holding down a job again for any length of time as I feel the older I get the worse my BPD seems to be.
I'm looking into ideas for self-employment.

From what I've seen with a family member, it's extremely hard, maybe impossible? It's a constant round of getting a job, crashing, awful medication side effects, losing or leaving the job then depression. Sorry to sound so pessimistic, I'd love to hear success stories..

Same boat: 13 different jobs in 10 years. My first job out of school was 3 years, three hellish year. So really it’s been 12 different jobs in 7 years. It’s embarassing and getting harder to find work in my field. If I had it all to do over again, I’d have been a career student, in reasearch where I’m in a lab by myself all day. I agree, self employment is ideal. I’d own a dog grooming business and animal house sitting. Or lawncare.

I’m self diagnosed with BPD but have been suffering with it for 28 years. SSRIs help to regulate the intense emotional shifts. But the work situation always ends up blowing up.

Newly diagnosed and i struggle. I have been in my current job for 3 years (longest yet) however i have worked in this place on and off for 20 years i struggle with colleagues and always feel pushed out.

I've been diagnosed with bpd since I was 16 so 15 odd years ago now. I have "two careers" both jobs I normally work in are retail and care.

The thing I always find is there is always one person I just can't get on with and it needs up me leaving the job I love! However I'm not sure how but I've managed to hide my bpd from my jobs really well and it doesn't affect my day to day work aspect.

It's so hard tho op and I'm not sure there is an actual way to do it 100%

Atm I work with someone who has just been diagnosed and she is struggling quite a bit - taking lots of time off etc and it's hard to watch her go through it. I have no answers for you :( but big hugs as it is a struggle!

I really want to progress in my career but can't atm

Is it a common theme among BPD to have a hard time with one person in the workplace? This is true in all my jobs.
Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. It’s enormously helpful.

I'm not sure diaper but that's what I've found and it bloody sucks as I love the jobs I do and really want career progression!

Me too. Do you recommend an app or something to help with learning coping skills? I can’t afford therapy right now. Have to do this on my own.

I've had group therapy and done STEPPS have u done either of these?

No i haven’t. I’ve just come to terms with the diagnosis over the last couple of days. I was diagnosed in my mid 20s and have been in denial ever since. That stops now.

Do you feel like STEPPS and group therapy helped? If so, how did it help?

STEPPS helped as I learnt how to deal with my emotions. Group therapy not so much but only because there was one lady in the group who kept going way off topic and telling us some really scary stories and every time one of us would try and talk the staff kept saying no that's off topic but wouldn't pull this one up and I've kept in contact with most of them and they all felt the same!

It really helped my husband understand exactly what I go through tho altho he hates the suicidal part and never wants me to talk about that.

I've really learnt to hide my emotions as such and he only realised I'm having a down episode when I start waking from nightmares! Otherwise he wouldn't be none the wiser. Same at work, I've only told my two closest co workers and they were shocked as they didn't have a clue.

It's a horrible mental health issue to live with and some days I feel like I'm going crazy and I'm a shit mum and other days I feel fine etc

I was nodding my head while reading your message. I wish I could hide my symptoms tho. Who do you have to talk about the suicidal ideation? I talk to my sister when it gets bad. I find that being on an SSRI helps A LOT with that part of it. Your husband just can’t imagine life without you...and the vacillating between “hey I’m ok, I’m normal, I can manage, I’m a good person” and the very negative thoughts ie, I’m a bad parent, I’m fucking them up, I’m worthless: it’s exhausting and discouraging. I feel you, girl.

I sometimes talk to the doctor about it but I'm not on any medication as moods change so quickly by the time antidepressants kick it I'm out of my low mood.

Husband doesn't like the thought of me thinking like that now we have kids!
I'd never do anything now but have in the past before I met my husband and kids!

I used to talk to a cpn and a psychiatrist.

Bpd can be a very lonely illness in my eyes

It's good you have your sister to talk to! Are you working at the moment

I am working, but leaving in 2 months. I’ve learned a lot about my limitations; my current location isn’t conducive to my mental health. With an already isolating illness, I’m geographically isolated. I’m glad I found this group! I definitely feel less lonely.
By the way, I looked into STEPPS. Is there an online option that you’re aware of?

No I don't think so and depending on which county you are in it can be a long waiting list! I waited over a year and a half then when I moved county there was no waiting list

Ah yes that doesn't sound too good!
Me too it's so helpful talking to others who know how you feel

I have BPD, got diagnosed a few years ago but think I've had issues since my teens.

I've had 3 proper jobs and several courses in the last 5 years since graduating from my degree. The degree itself was exhausting and I constantly wanted to quit. Then during a positive phase of my BPD I decided to do a masters which was relatively okay mental health wise. Then I carried onto PhD but quit 3 months in due the BPD, got a number of temp roles before finding a permanent role for 2 years but had substantial sick leave there, had another job for about 6 months but half of that was sick leave and now I'm onto my 3rd proper job so far with no sick leave.

I think for me the thing that helps now is only working part time. I find I only have to manage a day or two at a time which is really helpful for my mental health. I do part admin part clinical work, all totally unrelated to my degree but I enjoy it. My colleagues are all super open and super supportive which makes a really good environment although none of them know I have BPD. I think the clinical aspects are good for me as I rarely see the same patient and I don't see them for very long so I don't find it an issue as there's not really any chance or need to form meaningful relationships.

Would working part time be an option for you?

I'm self-employed but have been "traditionally employed". I've never understood workplace-politics and felt grossly misunderstood, bullied and loathed every second of it. The first job I held down for 5 years... the second for nearly 15. The only reason I stuck it so long (in both) was because I was financially trapped... I used to dream of just fucking off to a moshav. I've had countless breakdowns but had to keep picking myself up and dusting myself down. I have nothing but loathing towards those I worked with. Bar two.