Feeling a bit lost

[Ohnoagruffalo]

I’ve been a SAHM for 10 years since I had my first dc, before that I had a challenging career which was stressful but rewarding. Fast forward 7 years and we moved from a large vibrant city to my (small) hometown with two ds and dh. We moved to be closer to family and for a better quality of life. We have a lovely house, disposable income, holidays, meals out etc. The dc are happy and dh has a great job. But I can’t shake the feeling of disappointment that I’ve ended up back in my hometown despite us having a much better life here. I work very part time (two mornings a week) but I’m bored and restless and so lonely. I have some friends but they all work and have interests and hobbies they do together (I have joined in but it wasn’t for me) so they are busy a lot of the time. I’m just feeling blurgh. I know I need to get back to work properly but I don’t know if I want to return to the same career and after researching other paths, there’s nothing that I’m interested in. I just feel like I’m wasting my life doing the food shop, school run and making meals. I need a kick up the arse please!

Would it be too outing to say what the previous career was? I think often, if you have to change career to fit in with family, then the best work is something that uses a similar skill set or has similar emotional rewards to the old career. If you say what your old role was, maybe people could brainstorm suitable alternatives.

How old are your DC? Can you do something challenging with them? A fitness challenge - running or cycling or swimming or learning martial arts?

What about an online course with Open University or one of the open courses run online by Oxford or Cambridge? Just to get you feeling like your brain is working again. You need some friends who share your interests if your old friends have a hobby you don't enjoy.

At very least you need some mum friends. They may not be life-long soul msates but having a handful of school gate mums to go for coffees and walks with can help if all your close friends are working full time.

Can you plan more regular exciting weekends away with yoru partner or with the whole family? can you take advantage of having family near by to have days out in a near by big city? I remember going to a conference in my field when DC were about 6/7. I almost cried , it was so fulfilling after years of stacking playgroup chairs and shovelling fish fingers. It's a very boring stretch of life but it's short. My DC are almost ready to leave home and I'm having that shock realisation that they've only bitten 18 years out of my entire life. That's a short time overall, to be devoted to them.