Hi, i need a bit of help with my anxiety over food and social situations..
I suffered with disordered eating in the past (both binging and starving. Massive fear of eating in front of people) but am generally over it now, the only thing I struggle with is eating in front of people and ordering.
Its my partners birthday in 2 weeks. I mentioned to his mate that we would be going out for dinner, then meeting up with friends for drinks after. Our wires got crossed and he now thinks I invited him for dinner with us.
Queue massive anxiety attack! I told my partner that Id quite like it to just be us, and he said that I was alright when I went out before but I pointed out that I left most of my food and the bits I did eat I struggled with. I just want to have a nice evening out without the anxiety I get involving other people.
I asked whether we could go with the original plan of a quiet meal then drinks after and he said if its the money he'll pay. I didnt realise that I would be expected to cover the whole bill. Which, with 4 people being there and the restaurant I originally chose, would cost what I earn in a fourtnight. I was more than happy to pay for us, but assumed the bill would be split between both couples, me paying for our half. He then mentioned that he wants to invite his brother, who I dont get on with and whose wife gives me huge anxiety, Ive met their baby once in the 6 months he's been here. I'll also be expected to pay their share. Or partner will pay, but its his birthday and I wanted to treat him. I just cant afford to spend what I earn in a month to pay for his birthday meal with everyone included.
I know its his birthday and I have to suck it up but Im so anxious now Im dreading it.