Anyone else suffer from ‘Social Hangovers’?

[DannyOD]

I suffer from depression and have done for many years. I suppose I am what you would call a ‘functioning depressive’. However, after ANY social event, even if I have real been looking forward to it, I feel awful the next day. Seriously down, weepy and lost. Does anyone else get this?

Do you drink alcohol at these functions?

Sort of. If I’ve had a few days where I’ve had to be out and about socialising I feel exhausted by it and need quite time alone to recouperate. If I dont get that time then I get quite down and frustrated.

Yes, I get this! I'm aware of it now and try and plan for it. I tend to overeat as well after for comfort. I try to rationalise that I feel things more sensitively and it will pass by the end of the day, which it does.

Yes I do, and I don’t drink much at all so it’s not that. I feel awful about whether I upset anyone or was weird or rude. It’s also emotional exhaustion as I’m a huge introvert and socialising wears me out.

It’s easier if some comes to stay or something, as I don’t have to talk to them all the time. The worst is when it’s a night out or occasion and I have to be “on” and chatty for several hours. I had one of my DC birthday party once and although it went fine, I couldn’t sleep all night afterwards as I felt so tortured!

Do you just feel randomly upset OP or do you worry about specific things? Are you an introvert do you think?

Depression could also make you get exhausted more easily as well.

Look after yourself when it happens and give yourself time to recover

Kind of. I've just asked my friend to leave because I'm exhausted from being sociable. I don't feel weepy though, I just need sleep from the effort. I don't think that's what you are asking though?

Yes I get this. I'm just an introvert and need to recharge

Yes. I thought it was just part of being an introvert.

Yes, definitely

I feel really panicky and drained after any social interaction even just little ones like being in a taxi or talking to the secretary at dds school.

Yes, I get this. Not so much weepy but v anxious and worrying maniacally about everything I’ve said etc Much worse if i add alcohol so I hardly drink thirst days. I do worry that it’s a bit of a vicious circle though and it would be v easy to get out of the habit of socialising at all so i’m aware that avoiding such functions totally is not the answer

Yes. I'm an introvert and have social anxiety, so with those two things combined, social occasions are very draining.

Yes, I get this too.

It took me weeks to feel ok after my own wedding.

Yes. I need time to process everything after a social event. It's exhausting!

Thank you for your replies. I tend to go over everything that happened and search for a hidden meaning in everything that was said to me. I always end up feeling like I wasn’t really wanted there. My presence was tolerated. I said something stupid etc. It is utterly draining but as a previous poster said I worried that totally avoiding socialising will isolate me even more.

Yep, if I'm visiting people for the weekend or doing a lot of socialising I will take an extra day off work to just relax otherwise I've found I'm usually shattered in work the next day.

Yes I also get this. I didn’t realise it was a thing that other people suffered from too. I’ve realised just how anxious I am recently, and I’m really down because of it. I just want to be a happy, confident person. Instead I wake up feeling sick every morning. I’m starting to avoid social occasions because I hate The Fear the next day, even if no alcohol is involved.

That's not a social hangover, that's anxiety or 'Pure O' OCD. A social hangover is mental/emotional exhaustion and the need to have quiet time to recharge your batteries. The ruminating isn't an integral aspect of it. You might benefit from some CBT to learn how to manage the impulse to ruminate after a social event. I used to constantly do the same and with treatment I am much more in control of it.

I don't socialise much at the moment since becoming a single mum - work, childcare and just life in general leave very little time for it, and I need time on my own more, so I tend to prioritise that. I go out very rarely and only really socialise with my own friends a few times a year (though I do hang out with other families with the DC as well).

I do worry a bit that I could become reclusive, but on the other hand I have to do what's best for my own mental health. It should be easier when the DC are older. I try not to beat myself up about it I suppose.

Matt but if you find socialising exhausting, that may partly be because you feel anxious about it or bad at it. (Definitely so in my case.) . So the replaying it and torturing myself afterwards goes along with the exhaustion.

yes, i know exactly what you mean op.

I get racing thoughts, so I haven't a hope of sleeping, and then the next morning I'll have a pounding headache as well as the tiredness. I try to avoid the 'going over everything I said' thing, because it's just to fecking embarrassing and miserable, but it's hard not to. I don't socialise much any more, and certainly never both days of a weekend.

I don't drink at all so it's not that.

Yes but not just at social events. In any situation I have to be social including appointments etc.

I even get it after the school run. It's such a waste of energy and time.

Massively so after meeting friends with kids. (We're infertile) we have am amazing time then get back like exhausted, shell shocked little turtles and hide out in our shells for a few hours.

I get this - naturally an introvert but I’ve always put it down to a “come down” effect after the “high” of socialising.
For me the worst thing is when I feel I’ve done my bit on the socialist front and someone asks me for a lift or hangs about at my house - I just want them gone and I tend to find myself being very flat with them 😕😕😕