Failing at therapy

[failingattalking]

So been in therapy for over a year ... with a few gaps

Still struggling to talk about trauma - just struggle to bring incidents up / talk about them. Partly because there is a lot (all adult - not recent)

Anyone else find this and feel like they just can't seem to help themselves. I feel like such a failure at times because I can't seem to do it.

Will I get there or should I just accept that I never will and some people are just unable to help themselves?

My therapist used to say that I held a lot back in sessions. That was hard to hear, but she was right. It was probably about 2 years before I was really able to share my toughest feelings

You're not a failure at all. Traumatic things and feelings are hard to talk about. Therapy is such a unique experience - you have a trained professional listening to you intently and without judgement. It can definitely take time to settle in to that. Also, if you have experienced trauma, you have probably learned to ignore or numb your difficult feelings as a coping mechanism, and that takes time to undo.

If you're finding the sessions generally helpful, and you trust your therapist, keep going

It's okay to go at your own pace.Truma is very very difficult. I've been in therapy for close to 2 years and 2 months. It's only now that I feel slighting comfortable bringing up childhood sexual abuse.

Thank you both - that helps.

Do you ever feel your therapist is angry at you for not bringing things up sooner? I just feel like I'm wasting her time (appreciate its my time I'm wasting really - but I really hate wasting hers too)

'Do you ever feel your therapist is angry at you for not bringing things up sooner?'

It sounds like you have a lot of anxiety about being a 'good' client and doing therapy 'right'. I can relate to this. Remember that your sessions are YOURS and unique to you. Your therapist will follow your agenda, and make space for you to share things at your own pace. There's no set timetable. It's absolutely part of the legacy of abuse to feel that you're getting things wrong and others are second guessing you

No. I don't feel like he gets angry at me for not bringing up stuff sooner. I am a firm believer in everything having a time and a place. I first brought up something in september, and have been talking about it in baby steps on and off.

He never gets angry in general and has always been kind and consistent. Therapy is about you and there are no comparisons to where you should be by X time.