A number of things haven’t been going right for me recently. Health (physical, but now beginning to think mental too), career (dead end, bullying boss), relationship (married but in a long term affair I’m wracked with guilt about). I found out I was infertile last year.
My sense of self worth is rock bottom and has got worse. I’ve been off sick from work for nearly a week and have barely left bed in that time, including the weekend. My DH knows I’m struggling but he has no idea to what level. He’ll leave the house for work and suggest I go into town and get a coffee to perk myself up but thought of engaging with the world fills me with dread.
I can hear birds singing outside and it makes me want to cry that I don’t even have the energy or inclination to pull back the curtains, let alone go outside and engage with the world.
I feel paralysed by inertia, at some point I’m going to need to get back up and out there and I don’t know how to give myself the momentum to do that.
Sorry for the post which isn’t particularly clear I’m sure. But any help appreciated.