Things are really difficult at the moment and I can't work out how to handle them.
For a long time DH has been emotionally abusive and coercive (defined by counsellors/WA) not all the time but often enough. Despite this we've been going to couples' counselling. I felt we had to try. We made some progress. He's admitted anger issues and their effect, and things have been better. But I don't trust he's tackled WHY he behaves like that - he just said he won't.
Things have deteriorated again recently. It stemmed from us talking about someone else's relationship where there is abusive anger and me saying it was like ours (not so bluntly but as a summary). He was outraged - I thought he'd accepted that his level of anger wasn't normal but he obviously hadn't.
That was almost 2 weeks ago and we've barely spoken since. Then yesterday he rang in sick and missed a long-time colleague's leaving do and isn't going in for the rest of the week. He's done this before - he "retreats" from life when something difficult happens that he can't deal with emotionally.
He has made an appointment with the GP which is great - but I'm worried he will talk about the obvious symptom (his lack of sleep) and not what I feel are most definitely MH issues behind it all. We've been here before and he's never taken it further than an initial appointment - no significant counselling or medication.
I just don't know how to deal with it all. He has behaved badly - I don't think I should minimise that - but he is struggling.
I'm posting here because I thought people might have useful thoughts about the MH side of things. I have a close family member with significant MH issues - and took antids myself for a while. So I'm not unsympathetic - but my sympathy is tainted by what's gone on before.