DP has generalised anxiety disorder, and suffers with some recurring intrusive thoughts, often surrounding having made mistakes at his place of work, which is a highly pressurised, high stakes environment, where a mistake could have serious consequences (no mistake has actually ever occurred, but he can almost talk himself into thinking he has made one, and gets very worried and paranoid). The nature of his work and the mistakes he imagines are always such that he can't actually 100% confirm that no error has occurred by checking afterwards, and so the thought process can run on for a few weeks until it becomes clear it was all a storm in a tea cup.
He can go for long periods without this particular aspect of his anxiety arising; it has almost been a year since the last spell, but it has been more frequent in the past. However, the last few weeks have been plagued by this fear, and he has decided he really wants us to move so he doesn't have to be triggered by the proximity to his place of work, which he finds stressful at the best of times. As far away as possible.
I'm usually very patient and understanding, but am finding myself suddenly at the end of my tether. I can't trust myself to speak to him for fear of blowing up and saying it is all so irrational. I know from past experience this phase is likely to pass in a few weeks, and he'll come out of this slightly other-worldly state he gets into, so I know I should just nod, listen and reassure and bide my time, as reasoning with him gets us nowhere, it doesn't seem irrational to him at all.
But he's just walked off to bed, desperate and distraught at how I can be so heartless and unsupportive and not want to move, when that would clearly put an end to all his worries. I just don't know where to start, I think I am just venting...
Moving would mean leaving my whole support network of family and friends which I desperately need, as life with DP and his anxiety and associated behaviours can be tough when it flares up. The DC would hate it, their whole lives are here. I love my work, and they have been very understanding when I have had to change plans to accommodate DP's MH. I can't think of anything worse than starting afresh somewhere where we don't know anyone, and I am isolated with just him, with a new set of intrusive thoughts likely to pop up in a new setting. When he is well, he's just a regular good man, and he does have a great deal of self-awareness and insight to his condition, but the uncertainty surrounding when the next episode is going to arise means I am always on the lookout for changes in behaviour, trying to avoid triggering circumstances, kind of managing his life, as when he is unwell, it takes up so much energy. How can I make him see that we can't make a huge decision like that based on what is effectively a delusion, an experience in his head that will pass?
How can I support myself in this? Anyone dealt with anything similar? I am tired of it. It can just do one. Even though it has been a long while since the last episode, the weight of the many past events arising from the same issue is bearing down on me. DP has had lots of counselling and medication for anxiety. I don't think he is receptive to going to the doctor at the moment, as it is all so real in his mind.
I have NCd for this, btw.