Recommended books on family relations?

[800msprint]

Can anyone recommend some reading so I can try and unlock my relationship with my parents and how it's affected me (if at all)? I have very low self confidence and a lot of self doubt in my abilities and in decision making. I try to people please a lot and can be quite reserved and closed with other people.
They are not toxic parents and I get on with them but obviously their traits over the years must have had an impact on me and how I react to situations. I'd like to understand all that a bit more. My mother pretty much brought me up. My dad was emotionally absent and still is. I have no brothers and sisters. My mum is lovely but anxious, gets low and is pessimistic. I think games people may may be useful. Anything else?
Thanks.

it is probable that you cannot change them now but you can change yourself and how you deal with them.
Can I suggest you concentrate on yourself rather than somehow try to appease any given situation.
Have a google of Grey Rock.
Look at the reviews for a book called "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.
Look at some you tube video's of Byron Katie.
Something might resonate.
I'm thinking that you have lost yourself somewhere along the way.

Oh yes I don't want to change them but if interested in understanding myself a bit more and how my relationship with them might cause me to act the way I do

Yes definitely feel lost!! Not sure who I am anymore etc. I've started speaking to someone and she asked me about my childhood and I'd never really related how I deal with current issues (unrelated to family) may be influenced by my childhood and relationship with parents.

Current behaviour will related to your childhood and childhood issues.
Behaviour becomes a habit and is an unknown until one day the penny drops and questions start to arise. It is then we become conscious of certain traits.
The good news is they can be eradicated and lost, then a re-build occurs.
Think of it as wiping clean a hard drive in a computer, then re-programming the computer. But only with the positive data :)

Hi OP, if you're interested in looking at inherited ways of reacting to life you could try "Why Do I Do That?" by Joseph Burgo. It's a very readable presentation of a range of defence mechanisms that we unconsciously deploy in relationships and life situations. We 'inherit' many of these from our parents, because we learn so much about how they navigate life when we're trying to figure out things as small children, and that learnt behaviour goes deep. People typically use a repertoire of these defences taken from each parent (that's how I see it anyway) and in doing so our personalities are shaped considerably. In the end, understanding of and familiarity with defence mechanisms can help raise our self-esteem and our trust in ourselves, because we learn to be aware of our reactive tendencies and the self-defeating ways we deal with life and can disarm them over time.

Have a read of the reviews on amazon and see what you think. It's very unlikely that one book alone will ever help us overcome such difficulties completely, but this has been a very important book for me in the last few years.

Thank you sounds perfect!