Hand hold - did something stupid and driving myself mad

[Worstmamaever]

Posted this elsewhere but really it belongs here.

I suffer from bad health anxiety when it comes to my children’s health.

Long story short we’ve had norovirus (or maybe food poisoning) in the house. Everyone fine now but we were very very unwell. My youngest who is very very small (very underweight, although completely healthy) didn’t catch it. A stomach issue is my worst nightmare for him because he’s tiny.

Today I shared a fork with him, not knowing i’d still be contagious as the D&V ended a few days ago. Apparently I will still be very contagious though.

This really belongs on this board because i’m completely going to pieces. I can’t forgive myself for such stupidity. My mind is going all sorts of dramatic places and I can barely function.

I’m so so bloody careful with this kind of thing. We all caught it at once and I was so careful to ensure he didn’t get it, which is why he stayed well.

Why on earth would I forget myself today and do something so stupid??!!

Feel like I’m just watching and waiting for him to get sick :(

Ok you’re not managing your health anxiety at the minute. Have you seen your GP? Have you had counselling? What steps do you normally follow when you have a panic attack. (That’s what you’re having now)

Maxbondi- believe it or not, i’ve not suffered like this for over a year. Probably longer. It’s hit me with a vengeance over this.

It’ll be because you were all ill. It will have stoked up all your underlying anxieties about becoming ill. Go and see the GP, ask for a referral to a counsellor. In the meantime:

5 things you can see.
4 things you can touch.
3 things you can hear.
2 things you can smell.
1 thing you can taste.

And concentrated breathing.

When I read up in it, my understanding was that the virus is mainly carried in the stools and vomit of the infected person, not saliva, so you should be ok.

Thank you so so much. I’ve never posted on this bit of MN before. It’s fab.

DTs were very prem and very small and I was neurotic for a good year to the point of only taking them out with rain covers on the pram so they couldn't get germs. This is your anxiety talking and you need to get help for it. Is PND a possibility as well?

When you say very underweight but healthy what does that mean? How old are they? Do they have another medical condition?

When my Ds was about 2, he had noro and was already on the bottom percentile for healthy weight. I was worried but the gp said, he’ll drop into underweight and when he’s better he’ll bulk up again. If he’s healthy he’s healthy.

I’m saying that because it really resonated. You can always see ds’s ribs so when he loses weight it’s scary but totally normal and manageable.

Iamtheworst - exactly the same although he’s reception age. No underlying health issues at all but noro petrifies me for the exact reason you said.

Youre doing exactly the right thing reaching for help and you’re definitely not “worst mama ever”

Are you feeling any better? Lots of concentrated breathing every time you feel the anxiety rising.

Ok, I do understand, Ds has those bones that stick out in his lower back, top of hips (medical term) when he got sick he once lost 6 lbs which was loads. But the very minute he was better he started pilling it back on.

Speak to the dr, because they definitely reassured me. And you can’t stop kids getting sick. You can try and you can practise good hygiene but it will happen.

I’m feeling much, MUCH better. Thank you all so much.