In love with my therapist

[MoggTheCat]

I have been seeing a private therapist for over two years. She has helped me enormously with mental health issues and many other aspects of my life. We get on really well with each other and have always just seemed to “click”. I look forward to our weekly sessions so much and feel a real sense of loss when I have to say goodbye at the end. My problem is that I am painfully in love with her. I am bi, but it is not primarily a sexual thing. I just feel so comfortable and safe with her, she is amazing in so many ways. I am finding it difficult to deal with how much I miss her in between sessions and she is on my mind constantly. I am also terrified of eventually coming to the end of therapy and never having any more contact with her. Does anyone else have experience of this? I have read about transference and have discussed my feelings with my therapist. We are working through it together but I am still really struggling. Any advice much appreciated.

Two years is a long time. Your Therapist has to be very careful from an ethical point of view. Lets assume she felt the same way about you and you brought the subject up with her, and she was happy to have a relationship, she would have to end your therapy sessions before getting involved and possibly direct you to another Therapist if that was needed. If she didn't feel the same way about you, she may feel with that knowledge that she should taper off your therapy sessions and recommend you see another therapist. She doesn't have to do that, but she maybe concerned you have become to dependant on her.

Do you really love her, or do you think its more about you feel so dependant on her that if she was no longer there for you, your life would fall apart. If that's the case then maybe explore ways with her to help you manage without her support?

I do feel that I genuinely love her, but it’s more of a close friendship love than the romantic kind. I do definitely worry that my life would start to unravel again if she was not there every week sorting it out. But I would also miss her personally too.