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Why? Is there any point in life?

4 replies

missymarmite · 07/02/2019 01:21

In the last 18 months my life has been turned upside down. My DS started going off the rails when he hit 14; defiance, running away, shop lifting, drugs, permanent exclusion, aggression and violence at home... just over a year ago I had a breakdown and went into a mental health ward for a while.

eventually my DH (not DS' father) kicked us out because he couldn't cope anymore. My DF refused to have DS (now 15) stay with him and I couldn't afford anywhere straight away, so for weeks I stayed with my DF while DS sofa surfed with his friends.

Finally I found an affordable rental for us and we start to get settled. Then... last weekend DS went to stay over at a friends. Next day he finds his friend dead, cold, blue. He watches as the mother tries CPR on her dead 15 year old, to no avail. One of his closest friends since primary school, dead at 15!

He has been interviewed 3 times by police as he admitted his friend had taken an illegal substance the night before. He won't talk to me. Tonight I've learned from a family member of the dead boy, that the mother of the boy had given him a different substance and has been arrested for manslaughter.

I just don't know what to do. I feel like my chest is constricted. I don't know if I can go on any more. I'm so tired. So sad. I can't stop thinking of the dead boy and his mother, and my DS what he must be dealing with...

So I'm lying here in bed, unable to sleep, unable to tell anyone what has been told to me because it was told me in confidence and because it's the middle of the night and I might just burst with the horror of it all.

OP posts:
Etino · 07/02/2019 01:29
Flowers Where’s your ds now? Why can’t you tell him? If she’s been arrested surely it’ll come out anyway?
Purplepjs · 07/02/2019 01:31

I am so sorry. WHat an awful time you are both going through. I don’t have any real advice, but didn’t want to leave you on your own. Night time is the worst for feeling overwhelmed..just do what you need to get to the morning...go make tea. Put on a film...anything. Then tomorrow I think it would be a very good idea to look into some professional help for you both. Start at your GP.

Things must look very bleak tonight. But they WILL change. Your son needs you...look how hard you have already worked to provide a home for him. You sound like a wonderful parent. Just one foot in front of the other for a while...things will get better.

Singlenotsingle · 07/02/2019 01:32

It sounds as though youve been through a really bad time recently and I'm sorry to hear that. At least you've got somewhere to live and DS was just an innocent bystander in all this latest incident. Hopefully he'll learn from this that life is serious; it's not all about fun and experimenting and messing around. Maybe make yourself a cup of hot chocolate and try to get some sleepFlowers.

Justagirlwholovesaboy · 07/02/2019 01:35

Right now your priorities have to be about you son and getting him out of this, I know it’s hard for you and is making you not want to go on, but this is about him. This has been an awful experience for him, would he go to counselling or at least see a gp? About the criminal aspect unless it’s public knowledge I wouldn’t discuss it as it could jeopardise and court proceedings. Your focus has to be getting your boy through whatever he’s going through now

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