In the last 18 months my life has been turned upside down. My DS started going off the rails when he hit 14; defiance, running away, shop lifting, drugs, permanent exclusion, aggression and violence at home... just over a year ago I had a breakdown and went into a mental health ward for a while.
eventually my DH (not DS' father) kicked us out because he couldn't cope anymore. My DF refused to have DS (now 15) stay with him and I couldn't afford anywhere straight away, so for weeks I stayed with my DF while DS sofa surfed with his friends.
Finally I found an affordable rental for us and we start to get settled. Then... last weekend DS went to stay over at a friends. Next day he finds his friend dead, cold, blue. He watches as the mother tries CPR on her dead 15 year old, to no avail. One of his closest friends since primary school, dead at 15!
He has been interviewed 3 times by police as he admitted his friend had taken an illegal substance the night before. He won't talk to me. Tonight I've learned from a family member of the dead boy, that the mother of the boy had given him a different substance and has been arrested for manslaughter.
I just don't know what to do. I feel like my chest is constricted. I don't know if I can go on any more. I'm so tired. So sad. I can't stop thinking of the dead boy and his mother, and my DS what he must be dealing with...
So I'm lying here in bed, unable to sleep, unable to tell anyone what has been told to me because it was told me in confidence and because it's the middle of the night and I might just burst with the horror of it all.