Intrusive Thoughts

[Sleepyquest]

My husband and I have recently started trying for a baby. I'm also having a stressful time at work.

This seems to have caused some really awful intrusive thoughts about our future child where I am constantly hurting them. I've read a lot about this happening to women after birth but not before they are even pregnant.

The thoughts are plaguing me at the moment and I feel so low. I'm not too sure what to do. DH is being kind but he doesn't get it, my main concern is that the constant anxiety and fear of harming my child will affect my fertility. It also doesn't help that I don't really know any babies and haven't been around any.

Any advice on how to handle intrusive thoughts would be much appreciated. I am a really stressy person as it is.

Hi darling, speak to your GP and be honest how you feel and possible get some help. You are brave to speak up about how you feel and that is a big first step towards feeling better. Thoughts and reality are two different things, just because you have these thoughts, it doesn't mean you will act on them.

Definitely see your GP. They're not judging you as a bad parent, they won't be concerned that these behaviours your thinking of will become real (all things I was worried about previously) but they will help you seek the best support.

From my experience with intrusive thoughts (post natal) CBT was a God-send. Taught me to rationalise really well. Id definitely recommend getting on a waiting list for CBT now, before you do conceive/have a baby.

That must be very stressful. Have you tried CBT before? It could work for this, because it's such a specific issue and you can use all the CBT techniques to blast it away.
Depending on where you live, you can get CBT free online on the NHS or try something like MoodGym which is a self-led course. I've done both and found them really brilliant at training me to redirect my thoughts.
Good luck trying to conceive.

I'm currently on medication for intrusive thoughts, it really works (not sure of spelling think it's risperidone)
Please see your GP

The trick is to accept your thoughts and don't try to block or fight them as this only makes it worse. When you stop judging them and stop letting them upset or scare you they tend to fade away. Mindfulness really helps too.
And remember You are not your thoughts.

I am currently experiencing something similar myself and it is exhausting. It feels like the mind is attacking the one thing that means the most to me, my children. I darent mention it to my gp but know I will have to in the hope of receiving any help. Good luck with your recovery

I agree about accepting the thoughts. A friend had them after her baby was born and got really worried until one day she was on a escalator obsessed that she was going to let go of the buggy and see her baby fall, then realised she was holding on to the buggy so tightly her fingers were sore. She realised the intrusive thoughts were trying to be helpful, working out what could go wrong so she'd be able to prevent it. After that she accepted them and they were less of a problem.

Another vote for CBT to help with intrusive thoughts. I'm about to have a baby and am starting to get them again (having suffered in the past in relation to myself, loved ones etc - not necessarily babies). I think there's a book about it that I'm considering buying. I'll try & find the link later & post it here.

www.amazon.co.uk/Dropping-Baby-Other-Scary-Thoughts/dp/0415877008/ref=nodl_
I haven't read it but have heard good things about it. Has anyone else come across it?

The fact that these thoughts upset you proves that indeed you are not capable of them.As soon as your anxiety and or stress levels will settle these thoughts will diminish don't fight them...Not fighting them doesn't make you a bad person or reinforce the fact that you will end up acting on them..You could try some guided meditation also i recommend anyone suffering to have a look at Dr Claire Weekes book ( available audios on Youtube) and PMR ( progressive muscle relaxation) relaxation and anxiety cannot coexist i hope it helps.

Omg yes !! I've read it and its amazing

Sorry i was talking about the book...

I was looking at buying the book but it's pretty pricey! Anyone want to sell me a copy?

Thank you all for your guidance and non judgement. I have felt better the last 2 days and am putting it down to hormones and work stress! I have also sent off a thing to try and get CBT on the NHS!

I suffered with intrusive thoughts when I had given birth. The more I let it concern me the worse it got.

I eventually read a tip which said let the thought happen and slip by again. Accept it and say bye to it. I did this for a while and now I don't really suffer from them.

If it feels too out of control then speak to your GP but perhaps doing with above will work for you like it did me.

Thanks @SweetRoses It sounds like it might be worth the hefty price tag!

I used to get intrusive thoughts telling me to kill someone particular (which distressed me a lot as I would never hurt anyone).

My psychiatrist increased my Aripiprazole to 25mg as my Psychosis symptoms were getting worse & the intrusive thoughts actually stopped.

I finally plucked up courage to tell my psychiatrist about the thoughts & he was very good, it took a huge weight off my mind.

I'm glad that I no longer have the thoughts & I will stay on the higher Aripiprazole dose.

I know rationally that the thoughts were a symptom of my illness but I felt they were not mine that they were inserted into my brain as they were so alien to me.

It's a relief to know I'm not the only one with intrusive thoughts, obviously not all of you have my illness but whatever the reason it's worth sharing your fears with a trusted professional & finding a solution, whether that's medication or cbt.