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You do something to help anxiety, then come back feeling worse !

15 replies

granadagirl · 04/02/2019 16:04

This nearly always happens
I think to myself yes I will do that/yes I will go, yet when I’m there or doing it the adrenaline starts up from nowhere? And I get that panic feeling.

I’ve done something this morning, come back and that’s all that keeps going through my head is how I feel now. Upset stomach, and bit panicky. I had to go to the post office, only 5mins walk from house and had to really sight myself up to go. I know it’s more the thoughts, than actually when you do it but they are so so off putting and exhaust me
I could now just fall asleep.

Is anyone else like this?

Those that cope, what’s your secret ?

OP posts:
BoswellsBollocks · 04/02/2019 16:08

Oh god I totally get you!

I’m sitting here with my heart pounding knowing I’ve got to go to work in a bit. It’s 10 mins walk away and I’m only there for 4 hours but all day I’ve had the feeling of dread.

I’m also way too scared of going to the doctors so although I’ve suffered anxiety and depression for years I’ve never had any help.

I wish I could give you some answers but please know you’re not the only one Flowers

Jitters22 · 04/02/2019 16:24

That's the nature of the beast I'm afraid.

It will always try and get your attention one way or another and if you master one thing / symptom or learn how to live / cope with it, it will come at you another way.

Last week (after getting progressively better over several months) I was sitting at my desk and got this huge surge of fear coming right up from my stomach. That horrible gut churning feeling from out of nowhere. It was like my old friend 'Anxiety' was just letting me know it was still there, still trying to get my attention. I acknowledged it, the feeling passed and it was gone again.

What you have to recognise is the cycle - how your thoughts feed the feelings and round and round it goes. You went to the post office and you are home now. The task is done. But what's causing you so much panic and discomfort are the thoughts and feelings around it. It's not the going to the post office - you've done that. Acknowledge how you feel, rest if you need to, but don't agonise over how you feel - I tried so hard to go to the post office and now I just feel worse. It took so much effort .... It's not worth it, I feel so defeated, deflated, panicky, exhausted .. and round and round it goes.

If you haven't already done so, get yourself every single thing written by Dr. Claire Weekes. There are several titles and you can order them all through your local library or purchase them online even though they were written decades ago:

Self-Help for your Nerve
Hope and Help for your Nerves
Freedom from Nervous Suffering
Pass Through Panic
Essential Help for your Nerves
(I can't remember them all)

In the meantime, go on youtube and you will find several excerpts of her reading from her own books - play and replay these. Although her advice is 'old-fashioned' by today's standards, she still remains an icon to many because her advice is just so straightforward. She's been a life saver to me once again. I first became 'ill' with anxiety in my late 20s and decades later I've become ill again - probably due to a combination of menopause, my mother's death, relationship issues and just overwhelmed with work, kids etc. Whatever the reason, my world turned upside down last July. It came (seemingly) out of the blue and knocked me for six, and it's been a long, hard road to recovery ever since.

I am undergoing CBT therapy at the moment and do take Beta Blockers at night occasionally if symptoms becoming overwhelming.
But the thing that has helped me the most is good old Dr. Claire - bless her heart. Give her a go - she explains EVERYTHING.

granadagirl · 04/02/2019 17:39

Thanks for replying ladies

There is no way on earth I could go back into the work force. I had years of dread going to work when I had to, to the point I’d be rentching in the bathroom before I’d even left

I’ve had it since 20’s and I’m now 61
So you’d think I’d be used to it by know, but each time it does the same thing even when I think I’m getting a little better.

I’m on meds, done cbt even been under secondary mh care with psych 8 years ago for 2 years.
Had another blip about 18 mths ago
Each time, as I get older, menopause, it gets harder and longer to come back from it.
Well I don’t think It ever goes depression /anxiety it just dormant waiting to raise it head again

I’ve lots off
Mindfulness cd’s. Body scan
Headspace
Dr Clare weekend on audiobook

Just sometimes I have to have a break, as everything becomes anxiety!!! Which raises the adrenaline. So I try to help myself and the adrenaline rises?????

OP posts:
noego · 04/02/2019 17:55

You've already lived your 1000 bad days.

nxiety is a projection into the future. Even if it is for a nano second. s soon as you project you will feel the emotion.

Stay in the now. Right here right now there is nothing. As soon s you go into the future the anxiety re-emerges.

It is training the mind to stay in the now. The mind will keep going forward but slowly it will start to settle into neutral. Like a pendulum of a clock. It will eventually cease to move backwards and forwards.

Eckhart Tolle "The Power of Now" is a good read it may help.

granadagirl · 04/02/2019 20:07

Thanks Noego

I do try mindfulness, it’s so hard
But I need to practice everyday

Any tips welcome 😀

OP posts:
BeanoBrown · 04/02/2019 20:08

I totally understand that! I've started reading a childrens book about worrying too much, and it describes anxiety as a bully who keeps picking on you, it has really made me think about how my anxiety works on me. Each time I try to stretch myself the bully comes up and knocks me back into place!

I've suffered for over 30 years now and my world is getting smaller and smaller, I wish we could just ride the feelings out and ignore them but it seems impossible sometimes.

noego · 04/02/2019 20:47

@granadagirl

Have a look at the low esteem thread on here. There may be a few tips that may help you.

granadagirl · 05/02/2019 09:34

Could find that thread noego, put it in search and nothing found ?

What I think I do is try to push the thoughts away, I try to distract myself and then they raise they heads again. It’s like my brain never gets a rest from
Anxiety symptoms, what’s thats, stomach doesn’t feel settled, feel adrenaline surge, ache in the chest area
and then the thoughts 💭
Don’t feel good, wish this would go, why can’t i me normal, why can’t I just enjoy things etc etc

It’s the vicious circle ⭕️ thing, I need to break, but never manage
I try , I say ..... is there, ok so what it’s not-going to kill me.
Sometime later , maybe 5 -10 mins it’s something else !
So round and round we go all day, I very hardly ever feel relaxed or thought/symptoms free.

The more I try to help myself, reading, therapy (quite a bit, which gets to the point where I think I don’t wont to talk about anxiety and me anymore) it feels overwhelming when I try to help myself
Maybe I focus to much on it? To much time spent on it?

I never seem to find the right balance, and the become anxious about being anxious (if that makes sense)

Any tips would gratefully be received

OP posts:
noego · 05/02/2019 11:02

@Granadagirl

Pushing thoughts away takes effort and creates conflict within you.

Imagine you live in a house, the house in next to a railway line. When you first move in the trains going past make a lot of noise and the house rattles but after a while you get used to the trains so much so that they are in the background and you don't take any notice of them. The trains represent your thoughts. Treat the thoughts like the trains. They are there, but insignificant. You are detached from them.
Another thought comes it will pass and go on its journey provided you don't get on board.
Try it for a hour. Just watch them come and go.

The thread I referred to is on the MH section.

Hopefully this link takes you there.

3480760-Lets-help-build-up-each-others-self-esteem

granadagirl · 05/02/2019 12:08

Noego
Thank you,
You put it so simply in simple terms that I understand
It the taking note ones there and acknowledging it then the hard part
If not holding on to it?

How do I not hold on?
It’s trying to accept,
yes Ive got one off those useless thoughts again
Ok
Then what do I do ? In order to not get on board with it?

Thank you

OP posts:
noego · 05/02/2019 12:28

@Granadagirl

You are over thinking it. Keep it simple.

The thoughts how do I let go? what's next?

Just watch them.................

YOU don't have to do anything

noego · 06/02/2019 12:11

Healing is a formula.

ADD what heals.
SUBTRACT what hurts.
LEARN from what goes.
CHERISH what stays.

noego · 11/02/2019 14:07

Someone who figures out that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster its more like a cha cha.

An optimist :)

Jitters22 · 11/02/2019 14:56

Just seen this brilliant quote on twitter:

YOU'D NEVER INVITE A THIEF INTO YOUR HOUSE, SO WHY WOULD YOU ALLOW THOUGHTS THAT STEAL YOUR JOY TO MAKE THEMSELVES AT HOME IN YOUR MIND?

noego · 12/02/2019 12:51

Overthinking!!

The art of creating problems that weren't even there.

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