Anxious but bored and lonely

[Batsypatsy]

Long time lurker here, but not posted before.

I have long term problems with anxiety and depression. I'm unable to work at the moment as often I can't leave the house. I'm a single parent and have only a couple of friends who are too busy with their own lives to visit.

I mainly watch tv but I'm very lonely and bored.

Can anyone help suggest what I can do to stop the boredom? What do others do who suffer with anxiety and can't leave their home?

I can't study due to lack of concentration and I also have very little money. I try to walk a bit when I can leave the house. I can't make arrangements to meet my friends because they get annoyed that I often cancel due to my anxiety.

I also have physical disabilities that prevent me exercising, walking is about all I can manage most of the time.

Thanks for any suggestions. Please don't be too harsh, I've been trying to change things for years but I'm really struggling.

Walking is fantastic, keeps you active and is healthy.

How old are your DC? Are they at school? If on the younger side you could use a part of each day to do a project - lots of ideas on the internet- as a family thing. Your children will benefit immeasurably and it will give you something to focus on. So choose a topic and make models, draw pictures, make a collage, write a story... if your child is at school, you could set something up for an after school activity each day. We collected sticks and made stick models over the weekend.

What sort of tv programmes do you wAtch? Maybe use that interest to start a hobby. If it’s soaps, write an episode! If it’s gameshows, revise a subject as if you were going on.

Listening to taking books is a nice way to relax. I find when I’m out it keeps the world at bay somewhat.

My children are both teenagers and sadly no longer interested in that type of thing.

I watch a lot of different things, but I'm rubbish at writing. I wanted to start a journal but just don't know where to start, can't write or draw .. feel like I have no imagination.

Talking books sounds good. Where is the best place to look for them?

Try listening to podcasts. Lots to choose from. You could listen to some educational ones as well as lighthearted.
Put some music you love on and dance and sing. I know it feels a bit crazy to do alone but it'll help lift your spirits.
Is there a light exercise class you could follow on you tube?
Painting or drawing is something you can dip in and out of. Cross stitch, knitting, crochet.

You write well on here, you can write!

You can find talking books to download online, some free, some paid for. I use “Audible”. Also, our local library (you have to be a member) has some to download ad they are all free. I exhausted the library selection first, took me over a year! They used the library cds (you need a way to transfer them onto your device unless you play them through a CD player, mine wasn’t portable so I’d put them onto the computer and then my Ipod. Finally I gave in and subscribed to Audible. It’s been worth it.

That should say “Then used the library cds..”.

I also bought cd books from eBay, you can sell them again want listened to and often get your money back.

Thanks.

I can't draw or paint. I can knit a bit but haven't done for a long time, I wouldn't know what to knit. I can't crochet.

I've tried to listen to podcasts but my attention span is low and I struggle to find anything that interests me. Any good suggestions on where to find good ones?

Thanks for the tips about talking books. I'll look into library membership and also look at audible.

If you can knit buy a pattern book of small decorative pieces to start you off.
There's a podcast for everyone- what interests you? Try Table Manners, Love Stories with Dolly Alderton, (the Emma Freud one is great), casefile, Ted Talks. My Dad wrote a porno. Have a look at the show charts and see what you fancy.
Do you like to cook or bake? Try a new recipe every week. Or have a baking morning.
Sort out a cupboard a day. Not exciting but rewarding.
Make a playlist of your favourite songs.
Listen to it and add something new every day.

Thanks for that. I used to read all sorts. Sorry to be stupid but where do i find the show charts you mentioned?

On the podcast app click on browse. It'll give you episodes and shows. Click which you want. There is also all categories at the top. Try that too.

I'm so stupid, I didn't even know I needed a podcast app Will any one do?

@Batsypatsy is there any walking clubs in your area? You might be able to meet other people who share your interest?

Have you got an Iphone?

This may help too.

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2018/jun/30/the-50-best-podcasts-of-2018

I don't think you need an app for podcasts. Pretty sure you can listen via the web.

BBC Radio Four and Radio Five Live have good podcasts op! If you listen to them while going out, it might help with your anxiety.

Are you getting any outside support? From your gp for example? Have you told them you are struggling? It sounds very hard battling this alone. And the lack of concentration/interest in things sounds like serious depression.

This may not be appropriate but have you considered a dog (if money/disabilities do not rule this out). Obviously it's a big commitment and a huge undertaking but they do force you out of the door! And you immediately meet other dog walkers in the area and have casual chats.

Or walking a dog for an elderly neighbour if you don't want the full commitment. Have a look at the Cinnamon Trust?

If not, perhaps doing something creative might help? Sewing, drawing, writing, cooking, gardening (even if just small pots of things).

Finally, a family member of mine is involved in running a mental health cafe. You can drop in when you feel up to it and chat to people with the same struggles. Maybe have a look to see if there is one in your area.

PS fwiw you sound far from stupid to me! And if you have raised two dc alone, while suffering with mh issues, you must be a pretty competent and resourceful person too.

I downloaded a podcast app and listened to Love Stories, enjoyed that, that is. I'll also check out the suggestions you've all given.

My house is rented and I'm not allowed a dog. I'd be worried to commit to helping someone with their dog in case I had a panic attack and let them down. But I do love dogs, although I'm a bit scared of big dogs, so will think about that one.

My gp is aware of my depression and anxiety, I've been referred for counselling - again - but the waiting list is long.

I'm not sure about walking clubs near me. I'll search online, that's a good idea, thanks.

Yeah a walking club or a knitting club!

Or one that really helped me was volunteering, we prep meals for homeless. I absolutely love to and get to meet lots of people from all walks of life: some people chat others don't; we are just there to help. You could even listen to a podcast while chopping veg.

What's triggering the panic attacks @Batsypatsy ?

Can anyone recommend a book of knitting patterns for small easy but nice things?

Try these two books. Both on Amazon.

And this one......
I've got the first two books. The cake one is simpler. Nice to knit and complete quickly.

I'm just getting back into knitting and have found that doing something very easy while watching/listening to something (like a podcast!) to be really calming when I'm feeling anxious. I think it's the multitasking.

At the moment I'm knitting a scarf that has a pattern repeating every 4 rows so it's easy to remember what I'm doing. The pattern came on the inside of the ball of wool but you can find loads of easy ones for free online - ravelry.com is really good for this as you can search by lots of categories including difficulty level.

Thank you both! I'll take a look at the books and also on revelry.

I've always wanted to be able to knit socks, so I've ordered a kit including wool, needles and pattern. I'm looking forward to it!

I've done a little cross stitch a long time ago. Can anyone point me in the direction of a small easy attractive kit to buy? What size aida do I need as a beginner?

You don't sound old enough for knitting

If you fancy getting out now and then try something to do that people aren’t relying on you for, so you can easily cancel if nec. Go to a WI group, a knit and natter at the library or hobbycraft or a local haberdashers maybe. Look at your local council website / google etc for ideas of local groups you can attend. They will be pleased to see you when you go but won’t pressure you.