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Mental health

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Parenting teenager

2 replies

PhoebeFriends · 01/02/2019 10:43

Background is I am clinging on but my MH is destroying me. I am on AD and have a rerefferal app in 2 weeks for (fingers crossed) some form of support. I’ve had cbt 2 years ago. I am working and generally holding it together on the outside but if I could end it all this second I would.
My DD was v emotional this morning, not wanting to go to school - I think from what she is saying it is typical teenage angst of fall outs with friends, GCSEs etc but she is also annoyed at me because she thinks I am pressuring her. I don’t think I am but she won’t have a conversation with me. My own parents were very detached and I am socially isolated. DP is no help with the emotions - writing it down sounds like we are a vacuum! I want to be there for DD, supportive but not overbearing but she brushes off any contact and either argues or leaves the room. I am afraid my MH has impacted on her and I want to make sure this is not the case. I am trying to sort myself out so I can help her but in the meantime any advice on how to be supportive to her but getting it right is appreciated. I tell her I am there for her and will try to help in anyway but she says she can’t talk to me and I am part of the problem. I sort of think if it wasn’t for my MH I would laugh it off and think she was just being a teenager but I just don’t know.

OP posts:
lljkk · 01/02/2019 10:53

Is your DD in yr11 (or age 15-16 year, anyway). Of course you're pressuring her to attend school. GCSEs are important.

I can't get full picture of your situation, but one thing I know is that sometimes you just listen and repeat back what they said, or ask simple questions and always show an interest. But Do Not try to tell her solutions. Closest you get is saying "Do you think X might help?" which keeps the power with them to choose what to do. All about getting them to talk thru their problems until they find a way forward (that they think is their idea). This is support not pressure.

PhoebeFriends · 01/02/2019 11:04

Hi thanks for replying lljkk. Yes, y11. The problem is she just doesn’t talk and then blows up and everything comes out but I when this happens I will not make any suggestions. -it’s so hard because I want to help but I guess the best way may be to let her figure it out as she is nearly 16.

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