Feeling very down

[Bumblebee27]

As the title says I am feeling very down at the moment and I can't put my finger on why.
I have a lovely oh - we are currently working through some trust issues which is causing me a lot of anxiety but I do know deep down he loves me and is doing a lot to keep our life positive - holidays, days out, home improvements, new cars.
My son is a joy and causes me no problems whatsoever.
My job isn't fulfilling and I am constantly skint but this is nothing new.
I just can't understand why my mood has changed so much recently. I can fluctuate from feeling really hyper and happy to tired and depressed within a matter of hours. I over analyse every little thing and wind myself up about things I can't change.
I probably drink too much which doesn't help. Right now I am sat in front of the fire on the sofa and can't summon the energy to get up and do anything. I sometimes feel on the verge of tears for no reason at all.
I just don't know what's wrong with me. Please don't advise me to go to the doctors as I literally have no idea how to even begin explaining it. Just writing it down here sounds bloody ridiculous.
My Oh says it could be due to the time of year but that feels unlikely. I've always suffered from anxiety which comes and goes with me but this is something different. Just like an overwhelming sense of sadness and lethargy that makes me not want to do anything.
I'm functioning in daily life but I just feel rubbish. Does anyone have any ideas about natural ways I can improve things?

Do you have any hobbies or interests you really enjoy? Could you maybe book a short holiday or trip, give you something to really look forward too.
Do you have any girlie friends you can call on for a gossip n cake.
Maybe write down all the positive things you have in life, just putting pen to paper can help. X

Trust issues with your oh could be triggering childhood issues and it could help getting a psychotherapist

Sorry you're feeling low Bumble.Don't beat yourself up- we all go through low patches.I know I certainly have and tbh I'm in one again myself for the first time in years.You have identified yourself that drinking doesn't help ,and it really doesn't. Boring as it sounds try some calming herbal teas and cut back the booze and caffeine.If you can.Both can increase tearfulness and anxiety.
For me gentle exercise helps,and being outdoors .Even - or especially- at this time of year.Swimming saved my sanity a few years back.But walking really helps.Can you find a nice walk ?Don't feel silly going alone if need be.Take time to really look around.Even your local area can be interesting if you take a different route.Find someone to smile at and exchange a few words.
I was supposed to be away with DH and friends today for a long weekend -a rather boozy and lively one -and have had a setback with anxiety and low mood and just can't face it.With DHs blessing I'm staying home to try and reset myself.Tomorrow I am going to walk a few miles to a cafe I love ,take my book and treat myself to lunch.I would love a spa day but can't afford, so will pamper myself at home.A lovely bath,some candles.Sometimes I need company and to offload. Sometimes I need time out to myself.This weekend it's the latter.
I do hope you can find what works for you.I know the feeling all too well.In my worst patches I would come home from taking the DCs to school and just sat huddled to the radiator and felt unable to do anything.Now I wrap up and get outside.Sending you best wishes.

couple of small suggestions - could it be any of the following things... (having had similar experience myself recently!)

• mid-life crisis? (can occur any age from 30 - 60!) all about re-evaluating your life and what you're up to
• perimenopause?
• something else causing your hormones to fluctuate?

Thank you all for the kind comments and support. I do find exercise helps and being out and about with people usually helps too. It's just when I get too long alone to think and dwell.
My oh let me down around Xmas time and seriously broke my trust. Nothing terrible and I feel sure we can move past it but I do think the upset and anxiety may have triggered it. Perhaps a culmination of things that have come to a head in some sort of a crisis as someone else suggested. Also am on the pill so hormones could be affected by that.
I will try some suggestions. I really want to pick up and start feeling happy again. Oh has booked us a holiday which I'm really looking forward to but at the same time I'm struggling to muster the energy to feel positive about anything right now.

I email the Samaritans lately, they have been wonderful. Really helps xx

Hi Bumble.Yes the trust thing probably has shaken you.It doesn't have to be something as big as an affair for example,but years ago my otherwise lovely and caring DH did something stupid and secretive and it triggered several months of depression and anxiety in me ,and I all but shutdown.It was such a shock as I felt so let down .He was desperately sorry ,and has since given me no cause to doubt him -indeed he's my rock.I feel bad not going away with him this weekend,but he knows I can't cope.He's with close friends who know I struggle periodically.
It's good your OH has booked you a holiday.Something to look forward to.In the meantime schedule yourselves a treat a day.A favourite tv programme.Preferably one that makes you laugh. A magazine.A chat with a friend.Big hugs.

@Snugglepiggy yes the more I think about it the more I think the trust issues with my oh are playing a big part in this.
I am constantly worrying what he's up to. Convincing myself he is up to no good. Thinking badly of him and feel unable to confide in him atm. It's a terrible time and I feel like I am in a pit of anxiety and depression following his betrayal that I don't really know how to get out of. I've no evidence to suggest he's done anything but my mind is working overdrive and it's mentally exhausting.
This coupled with all of the other issues in my life right now - family worries, health issues, work problems - is just making me feel beyond rubbish.
I do need a day to myself but when I'm alone and not doing anything I feel lonely and empty so it's catch 22 really.

OP you say you have a holiday booked by your OH.But is he doing anything else to reassure you.?When my DH rocked my world he was immediately so sorry he suggested we went for counselling.Which we did first jointly, and then me on my own a few months later when I had another bad patch.That went a long way to restoring my faith in him and feeling that I could learn to trust him again.The fact it was his suggestion ,and he didn't downplay my hurt meant a huge amount.
Is your OH willing to do that ?I realise there's a financial cost but tbh it was worth every penny.If not seek some counselling yourself.CBT type sessions may help you cope with intrusive or overwhelming thoughts.Don't feel ashamed seeking outside help.And even if your OH won't go it will indicate to him just how low you are feeling.You sound like you need to properly offload.

@Snugglepiggy I think this is the problem. Due to the nature of the 'secret' it's something he is embarrassed about talking about and so it's been swept under the carpet a lot. We have had a few short conversions but no real resolution and that lack of reassurance has resulted in this. I don't think counselling is necessary but a frank conversation between the pair of us would help. It's not something he wants/can do atm though and in the meantime I'm trying to press on as normal but constantly questioning everything. I do know he loves me but my world feels very shaken atm

Hi bumblebee,

How are you feeling? I just wanted to say that I was in a similar situation to you and I didn't know how to get help. I actually went to the doctor's about something unrelated and just kind of had a breakdown in front of her. She was very understanding and gave me some information and j contacted a place called time to talk. You don't even need to go to the doctor's to get their info, you can just self refer. They then called me and worked out what I needed help with. I had 3 months of cognitive behavioural therapy as I was suffering really badly with anxiety and low mood. It very much helped. Most of all it helped me notice when I was feeling like it was appearing again, whereas last time it just hit me out of nowhere.

I hope you're doing ok, im here if you need to talk through anything