Hi,
Im hoping by writing this, that someone may be able to offer me a little advice.......
After just over a year of being with my partner, (who I live with), he has for the past couple of months, changed drastically in his mood and behaviour, which is massively putting a strain on our relationship.
For a little while now he has been stressed with work and feeling lonely in London, (he's originally from Greece and misses his close friends over there. He lost both of his parents too, so friendships are very important, and considers them his family). He says he's finding things difficult and cant seem to shift this very low mood he's in, and says he doesn't feel well in his head.
I've tried speaking to him about this-chatting about his worries and how we can alter the situation slightly by change of job, even asking if he was considering wanting to go back to Greece (which he was adamant he doesn't want). I'm trying to keep him positive, as I really do believe these particular things are definitely hard and hard to admit, but also changeable.
This really low mood of his has now been going on for a few months, and is progressively getting worse. He's becoming very distant, rarely comes to bed at the same time anymore, is drinking a lot, and really is becoming a stranger. (As I write this, I have no idea where he is and haven't heard from him). We very rarely have sex, or even sit closely together, or show any sort of affection whatsoever. I know that he is struggling, and he's aware how it's affecting me too, but I sometimes find it extremely difficult to be as understanding as I'd like to be.
When I try and talk about it, he tells me it's 100% not our relationship that's the problem, and that he loves me. He says it makes him sad to know how this is affecting us. However, I find myself reacting with frustration and anger occasionally. Being continuously rejected has really affected me more than I ever thought. I feel like I've turned into a rock, out of fear of being crushed by the possibility of hearing him say, he wants our relationship to end.
I find myself less and less inclined to initiate even a pleasant conversation recently, and my anxiety has risen so much that everyday is now a struggle for me to even travel to work, concentrate, or want to socialise with anyone. Sometimes I think maybe i'm not mentally stable enough myself to be there for him.
I've mentioned to him that I'm going to go and see a doctor for my anxiety, and taking up meditation classes, hinting that I want this to work. I then suggested it might help a little if he could book to talk to someone for himself. He barely reacts when I mention this-just blank.
I'm really struggling to be supportive, and I don't know how to work this through in a healthy way. Neither of us want this relationship to end, but I know, if left like this, we'll become complete strangers....
H