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My husband with anxiety wants to leave me

3 replies

Sara8342 · 18/01/2019 20:53

Hi,

I am wondering if someone can help me. My husband has out of the blue come out and said he wants to end our marriage. Until recently we have realised that he needed to talk to someone professionally because he has had issues with anxiety for some time which I felt was affecting our marriage in many ways. He did attend therapy but I feel that has made things worse. He stopped it after 6 weeks because he felt it wasn’t helping. I would have thought by encouraging him to get therapy for his issues would somewhat help our marriage but in fact its hasn’t. It actually has given him more to say. He often comes home after therapy very grumpy not in a good mood at all.

I also feel he is always testing me all the time to see whether I want to fight for our marriage. He wants to leave me but hasn’t started divorce proceedings which means I always feel like i’m in limbo. We also have a 4 year old son who was diagnosed with Autism last year which I know both of us have found overwhelming. The fact he wants to turn his back on the both of us breaks my heart. Not sure what I can do. I have suggested marriage counselling but he isn’t open to that at all.

Is there someone who can help me with what I can do to give my husband support to show i’m there. Or at least to understand anxiety.
He keeps pushing me away and being quite cruel. There is only so much I can take.

Just don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
ISdads · 18/01/2019 20:56

My husband had terrible anxiety for years. Turns out it was because he was having an affair. Same with another friend and their husband. Might not be that, but I was so naive it never occured to me to even think it.

Has he seen a GP for medication for his anxiety?

CastlesAndGiants · 18/01/2019 20:58

Does he want to turn away from you both really? He wants to leave you but that doesn't mean he intends to abandon his son. What does he say about co-parenting?

It is sad that he does not want to be married to you any more but he has the right to leave the relationship. I'd concentrate on making sure you are not screwed over in the divorce and making sure he plans to be a serious parent. Flowers

WhoKnewBeefStew · 18/01/2019 21:00

I’m afraid I think you should let him go. Let him decide what he wants to do. But it also gives you time to decide what ‘you’ want.

If he’s constantly testing you, that’s really not fair and how are you supposed to know wether you’re coming it going.

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