Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

How to be better?

8 replies

BertieDrapper · 18/01/2019 11:08

This may be long sorry.

Had DD 3 years ago after IVF and 4 years of TTC. She was very much wanted.

Suffered with sickness and nausea for whole 9 months of pregnancy, had a traumatic birth and then PND, diagnosed when DD was about 10montha old. I had CBT and returned to work when she was a year old.
Things started to improve but I would have moments/days of feeling shit again. It would come in waves and I would just wait for it to end. Apologies to Dh for being a moody cow and move on.

Last summer the cloud felt like it finally lifted for good. I kept waiting for it to appear again and it didn't..... until now.

It starts with something small, that will piss me off and put me in a mood which I just can't shake and it gets worse.
I work part time and I'm usually ok at work. But on my days with DD I just get so frustrated and wound up by the hum trim.... the constant wants from her and my DH. The fact DH doesn't listen when I ask him to do something or moans about it until j just do it myself.
I don't get to pee in peace or have breakfast without having to share it.
I cried in the shower this morning not for the first time just cannot get a hold on myself .
Then DD had thrown all her clean washing on the floor. I went into our bedroom and ranted to myself and I get myself so wound up and angry . I threw the hair dryer across the room.
Then I feel so awful so broke down again.

It's hard to explain how truly awful, guilty, sad I feel in a post. But how do I stop this?
It's going to ruin my marriage and my relationship with DD.

I looked into private councillong and at £50 a session we can't really afford it.

I'm being made redundant soon, and I don't know if that will make better or worse!

Is this depression? Or am I just being a snowflake and not being able to deal with the pressures and boringness of adult life!!

OP posts:
SexNotJenga · 18/01/2019 11:13

Go back to the doctor Flowers

YouBoggleMyMind · 18/01/2019 11:31

This sounds very familiar. Defo go back to your Dr. She can refer you to MH services and maybe suggest some medication to help. I was on Mirtazapine for 6 months, at the lowest dose but it made a lot of difference. I'm now weaning off it but I did have psychology counselling along side it last year.

BertieDrapper · 18/01/2019 11:42

I've always refused medication, I was prescribed it for my PND but never took it.
Like it's a slippery slope or something?
I've always worried about the side effects too, like weight gain as that really won't help!!

OP posts:
babasaclover · 18/01/2019 11:46

I am in a similar situation and have only just admitted to myself that I prefer being at work than at home right now. The toddler stage is hard!!!! Start by giving yourself a break, life is hard enough. Be kind to yourself. Talk to your partner and get the help you need, nhs will refer for counselling - it will just take longer.

Take care

BertieDrapper · 18/01/2019 12:14

Oh I def prefer being at work. And yes a lot of guilt comes from that and knowing what we went through to have her. The me from 2009 would be soooooo angry with the me now. Uninterested and frustrated our DD who I love so much but just cannot connect with. It's like I won't allow myself too.

My DH would like more kids but if I admit it to myself, I don't want any more at all! But I just say "not right now".

Once I've been made redundant DD will still be in childcare a few days aweek so hoping once I've got some time to myself things will improve..... but I am sacred they could get worse!

OP posts:
YouBoggleMyMind · 18/01/2019 17:26

Perhaps it's time to see if medication would make a difference? You're not being a snow flake at all, life is hard. I just found that with improved sleep and an improved mood, I could deal with the annoying child things better. Having coping strategies from my counselling helped too but they went hand in hand. There are lots of different types of medication and a chat with your GP would be a good place to start. I hope you feel better, it's really tough isn't it.

babasaclover · 18/01/2019 18:14

Bertie I totally get the guilt. We were 10 years trying. Ivf. Miscarriage and misery. I never in my wildest dreams thought I could be mad at my child.

However I did lots of swearing under my breath this morning as it took an entire hour to get dressed and in the car 😵. I said to my mum the other day 'I arguably prefer being at work, no one there treats me like the toddler does'. To my surprise she agreed. Lots of parents feel this way but never tell the truth in person!

BertieDrapper · 18/01/2019 19:56

Thank you for all your responses.

This day got slightly better. DD had a nap for the first time in ages so I had a couple of hours to myself. I managed to keep the TV off all afternoon.

Still feel a cloud but I know it won't stay around forever xx

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.