My daughter

[june59]

I am desperate for help for my 14yr daughter. She was adopted by my husband and I at age 16 months. She needs to have very in depth psychological help. She was referred to CAMHS but all they did was have a couple of sessions with her and told us she is ADHD. The danger she gets herself into is so worrying. I am besides myself with stress to get her the right help. We have seeked help from the social services, the post adoption team have not provided meaningful help. She love her to bits but fear for her.

What sort of dangers is she getting herself into OP?

Does she lack impulse control or is it more of a self destructive cycle type thing?

How much history do you have of her life before you adopted?

How’s she doing at school, have they been of any help?

How willing is she to talk to you about what’s going on?

Sorry for bombarding with questions. I can’t guarantee to be of any help but I will try. Just wanted you to know someone was listening :)

You might find it better to post on the adoption board, I’m sure others their will have had similar experiences and may be able to give better info on help available.

I hope things improve for you all soon.

Thank you so much for responding. My daughter disappears after school and don't return home for days. When she is gone she is high on weed, drink, cigarette and sex. The danger is she can be hurt by bad people as we don't know who they are. She lacks the ability to control what she is doing although she can articulate how wrong it is, as she was brought up with the right morals. She is on the part to self destruction. Her biological mother was the same so she has probably inherited the traits.She is having a hard time it school as as come many time close to getting excluded, but may help now that we have a confirmed diagnosis. She doesn't tell us what she gets up to as lies about everything, it is compulsive. We have great family and friends support all who try talking to her and willing to help but what we need is expert help.

I just wonder if perhaps there is something else going on. ADHD can certainly explain some of those behaviours but I was just wondering if FASD/attachment disorder was a possibility. Not that it helps if she is on self destruct mode.

What have school done to help? Is there something happening that has triggered this recently or has she always been a bit like this?

I again will say that I’m far from really knowing anything about what could be going on or ways to help. I’m a primary SENCO which isn’t much use to you, unfortunately.

Posting in adoption sounds like a good idea, maybe ask Mumsnet HQ to move?