Social services involved over multiple suicide attempts

[Unconventionalmum]

Hi,
In 2018 I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Things got really rough, I was really let down by the mental health services time and time again. I have been admitted into hospital multiple times but a few months ago I finally got the therapy I had asked for and desperately needed.

I am a mother of three, I love them dearly. I do not wish to cause them any harm. I try and keep my illness away from them but obviously this is difficult with the hospital stays. They know mummy is unwell and sometimes needs help.

Since therapy, I haven't self harmed or tried to commit suicide until Saturday. I had phoned the crisis team and begged them to help but was told they were to busy. My kids were in their grandads and I had enough. In an impulsive moment I downed a whole box of paracetmol and ibuprofen. I spent two days in hospital getting treatment.

They've referred this to social services, they've been here once before and shut down the case straight away as kids were fine. I'm petrified they're going to take my kids. It was such a selfish and stupid act and I regret wholeheartedly. I'm engaging in therapy, I have a cpn and I have a good support network. Are they going to take my kids?

Are your kids on any sort of plan or would this be an initial assessment? In which case they might be looking at ways they can support you. I would go along with whatever they ask (within reason) but it would be a lengthy process from the kids being on a plan (child in need/child protection) to court proceedings etc. So gives you a long time to prove that their initial fears were unfounded and you have turned things around.

Sorry, they would have to do an initial assessment, then if concerns were raised they would be addressed in an initial meeting and it would be decided whether to put the kids on no plan, child in need or child protection. From there you would at worst have a child protection plan and the opportunity to meet their requirements. They might do their own mental health assessment and make additional recommendations but it sounds like you are doing most of what they ask of you.

I would doubt it would go as far as child protection even, and even then a child protection plan has to be escalated more than once to result in court action and possible removal of the children to foster care etc.

They're not on any plan. Social services have never been involved other than doing an initial assessment quite a few months ago and shut the case down immediately. Is it likely to be the same situation? Last time I was in hospital, social services didn't even call so I'm not sure if they'll bother this time.

There will be another initial assessment I'm sure and then they will probably offer you some support. They may formalise this under some kind of plan, but they are more likely not to considering they haven't before and no other concerns.

Thank you, my health visitor told me to stop worrying and said there is no way they will remove the kids. She did say they may do an assessment to weigh the risks to the children. She said they'd have a big fight on their hands to remove the kids from my partner as he is mentally stable and has had no concerns about him. I'm just hearing mixed things. I know I don't deserve my kids, I feel awful right now. People don't understand but when I'm at my lowest, it's almost as if I'm not me. Everything feels like it's someone else doing these things. I was sdoing so well in therapy and I ruined everything.

Some services are easier to access through social services, so it may benefit you all

Possibly but I am engaging in everything I possibly can at the moment. I do four and half hours of therapy a week split into two sessions. I attend university the other days. I have regular check ups with my psychiatrist and cpn plus health visitor. The only safeguarding issue is that I can be impulsive when I'm 'low' which is quite normal for borderline personality disorder. My children have never been in the house when I've attempted suicide but obviously me being in hospital isnt the best situation for them. Ive had less than five hours sleep in three days, I'm so stressed and feeling very ill with this worry. I hope social services come out sooner than later

However I must admit and I'm not sure if it's help my case but before I took the overdose, I contacted the crisis team. I begged them to help me to only be told take diazepam and that they couldn't help me further. I asked to be assessed and they said I'd have to ring back later. I felt like I had absolutely no where to turn and the more I think about it, the more let down I feel

Mental health services can be really rubbish they are really overstretched which is no excuse but does mean that they can't always do what they are supposed to do.

As regards counselling and therapy, it often gets worse before it gets better and services do know this. I hope you get a social worker who knows something about mental health and can help you. They can pull the crisis team on being useless to and put pressure on them and other services.

Again, social services are also really stretched so they are more likely than not to not Pursue this is there are no other concerns.

Thank you for helping me out so much.

My head is in a much better place right now and I'm able to realise even if they do come out, it doesn't mean it is an automatic removal of the children.

One thing that is confusing me is that the referral was put in on Saturday evening by the hospital but I haven't heard a peep from them. How long do they normally take? I assume they have a heavy workload and perhaps that's why they're taking their time? Xx

If you ever feel like that again and get the brush off, please know that you can go to A&E and request help that way.

@Unconventionalmum if it's been raised before and they did a family assessment and decided on no further action that decision may stand if nothing else has changed.

Just because a referral has been put in doesn't mean they will necessarily contact you.

I've had a referral by a GP before where children's services never rang me as they thought the GPs referral was not worth a family assessment as they knew my DC was up to date with all medical appointments, attending nursery, suitably housed etc.