Inner Voice and Suicide

[MrsJoeBlack]

When I stand on the edge of the platform each morning and watch the train coming towards me, a voice in my head - my own inner voice - tells me I should jump. Jump in front of the train. The same thing happens when I cross roads, if I happen to be waiting to cross when a bus or lorry is coming, I think to myself 'jump in front of it'.

Is this normal? And why does it happen? I don't believe I am suicidal. I don't want to die. Sometimes I wish I didn't exist, I'd quite like to be zapped to another time period Weeping Angel style, but I would never actually kill myself.

I don't think I am depressed. I don't feel sad. Although I don't really feel happy either. I don't really feel anything. I'm kinda emotionless I guess.

It's a little unnerving to keep thinking about jumping in front of trains. I don't know what to do about it though. I don't want to speak to a professional - they might think I'm unhinged.

I can only say that on the tops of castles cliffs and tall buildings I always feel pulled closer and closer to the edge til I get dizzy and back away. I was under the impression, but don't know, that it's not uncommon.

Sounds similar to the 'High Place Phenomenon' if you give it a search. I feel this when standing in high places as well.

Very common. I have this - I can be driving along and suddenly have a fleeting urge to drive into a tree, or like you standing on a platform the urge is to step out. My DD2 also has this, and on talking with my sister, my BIL does too.

It's almost like the fact that I have this irrational urge means that I never would do it in real life, I really wouldn't drive up the pavement or step in front of a train, but just get a flash of imagery.

I don't let it worry me, I understand it's common in people with very visual imaginations (both DD and I are visual readers, where as DS and DH aren't).

I get this. It's usually a sign that I'm stressed, overdoing it, overwhelmed. Take care.

Thank you. I feel reassured!

So glad you posted and that you got the reassurance you need.

It's hard to define what every thought means, and we shouldn't do this all the time, but if it ever worries you again, have a look at this website www.mind.org.uk/. I was having similar thoughts, aswell as a few other things and turns out I had anxiety and depression, although I was okay I thought and had no reason to feel like that, just a chemical imbalance sometimes. Needless to say as I'm typing away that this is in the past and I'm over it, but just have a little look at the website to have a check if you feel like it, best to catch things early and be aware of your thoughts. Maybe practice some mindfulness too so you are able to take a halt to anything like that going forward.
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It is a good sign that you are aware of these thoughts. It means you have self awareness. The thoughts that you are aware of are not real. No thought is real. (think about it)
Thoughts only become real when you believe in them (think about it)
Because you are self aware you now have a choice. Do you believe the thought or not. If you do not believe the thought, then it cannot harm you.

Have a look at this video. HTH's

If you get the previous video OP then have a look at this one.

Hi op it's actually really common,
I've suffered with this ever since I read a story about a girl ending her life it started with what if that happens to me? But I'm not suicidal and sometimes I wonder if it means I am but just don't know it?
But I know I don't actually want to die I just get so distressed by the thought it could be me getting on a train what if I jump in front of it? When I wake up in the morning it's like my inner voice is ready to be like right let's make a cup of tea will I end my life today? At first it used to freak me out so much but I spoke to the GP, who said it's a stuck thought and a symptom of Anxiety however I don't know what else I can do now to actually unstick it