Depression due to making a terrible mistake should I go on anti-depressants?

[RussellSprout]

I made a terrible mistake last year, and it's now reached a point of affecting my health.

I left a well paid, easy job where I was working from home as I wanted career progression and had been passed over for promotion, which was eating away at me.

I took a new job that didn't work out, it was very different to what I had been led to believe and I ended up having to resign as when I told my boss I was not happy (actually I told someone else and she found out), she had a go at me, stopped speaking to me and was going to fire me (long story, I won't bore you with all the details but it was a horrible horrible experience.)

I'm now unemployed cannot get back into the kind of work I want to do (although I am trying... these jobs do not come up every day) and kicking myself every minute of the day thinking 'why did I ever leave in the first place'

To top it all my car broke down today and I have no money to buy a new one.

I'm panicky about the future, regretful about the past and the present is just one big ball of misery. I've got the classic symptoms of depression - just want to sleep, only want to nibble on junk food not eat proper meals, its an effort to do ANYTHING at all, and I just have a big ball of pain in my chest all the time.

i'm wondering whether to go on antidepressants, I am usually not in favour of anti-d's as they can be a 'sticking plaster solution' IMO but maybe I need a sticking plaster right now just to get out of this rut?

This has been going on a few months now although really ramped up since xmas. I just feel like I fucked up.

You could be me. Exact same situation. I applied for everything I could realistically do and ended up taking a job that I never would have even considered had I not been unemployed and desperate. Best decision I could have made. I turned out to be reasonably good at it and am doing well. I did take the meds though as my depression and anxiety had been an ongoing thing for months before I quit. Took ages to find a med that worked and again it was the one that had the least chance, statistically, of working that actually helped the most.

Take a chance. Depression lies to you and makes you feel like everything is pointless. Try something new. Take anything for the time being, just to keep a roof over your head. Try medication. If it doesn't help you can always come off it.

Thank you for your reply. Car breaking doqn yoday was the last straw. I have got 6 weeks temp work which is all I can cope with at the moment, the kind of work I do is relatively specialised so longer term it needs to be the right thing. I will have to wait it out I reckon, could take a while.

Trying not to think too far ahead though or I get panicky.

Gonna try and get some meds off the doc tomorrow, they could not see me until 5th Feb so I'll have to try the triage line.

Hey if you have to take a cleaning or shop job while you look, at least it's still a wage coming in. We do what we have to do.

I know... getting short term work is not the problem, and we can survive on my husband's income in the short term even if i'm not working. It's just the issue of how to get back into doing a job that I love.. they do not come up every day and competition is usually stiff although I have the advantage of lots of experience and having done it before.

Its just having to accept the loss of having something good and feeling like I threw it away. I left for what I thought would be a better job but it turned out to be nothing like what it was described, and when I questioned this it got very political and led to my boss getting the major hump with me (as it exposed she was mismanaging me) and I had to go. Lesson learned all too late not to rock the boat when you're new.

Anyway I have to count my blessings, I'm not going to lose my home or anything and in time things will pick up, I just have to be patient.