Hi
Just added post as felt like just getting things out.
I am in my mid-forties and completely alone.
I have family a mother, sister and beautiful daughter. I was married, divorced, lived with a partner.
I ended up living with mum and sister it didn't work out however I will say my mum has addiction problems and my sister was/is her golden child. It was really hard I wasn't want ed. I had to find money and move with daughter to private rented. It was tough we were ok and started to get maintenance from ex husband and I went back to work, learned to drive etc.
Eventually started to feel loved by family and sister as on own with mum realised for herself how my mother can be.
18 months ago family decided to move 300 miles away, rather than being alone (have no friends) sister became best friend we all moved.
It was good, I found a job, made friends, dd while lost for a while found her feet, friends and a lovely boyfriend now partner. Sister also met someone.
My mother started her antics again until I was reduced to living in my bedroom again as in past when dd was young, as I was not wanted.
Sister with her partner, dd moved into her partner's home. I had nothing only an admin job not qualified for anything else and looked for private rental. I couldn't afford it. I had close workmates but all married and didn't understand. I broke down a bit to my gp.
I went to the council and due to evidence from gp got a flat within 3 months however a good 15 miles from dd and work.
I didn't have enough money to move or even household essentials such as cooker, washing machine and bed as all left in home 300 miles away and old house I just wanted to go and breathe. I had to go overdrawn.
I moved and within 1 week I lost my job. I had/have no money. I literally spent every waking hour looking for another and got one within a week. It is dreadful and I hate going in I sit in a room all day completely ignored and can't find something better but need to work so stuck right now.
My dd visits and stays over one of 2 nights, my sister is now pregnant and having a problem pregnancy.
My mother just doesn't even contact me. I did at Christmas however radio silence.
I did reach out to dd as I am struggling so much with aloneness and being totally broke. All of my income goes to rent, car finance (stuck with that another 3 years) bills and overdraft. I just have enough left for some food and petrol.
Apologies for the rant there is so much more but that is the basics of right now.
I seen my dd on Friday and won't see another human being until tomorrow at work which is dreadful, then empty flat and aloneness, rinse and repeat!
I am so sad broke and alone with absolutely no-one to turn to.broke
I am existing and don't want to live but do as I can't give in due to dd (my father is dead and loss of parent is the v worst)
I had hope and dreams once a lot to live for but now I don't want to carry on.
This is just a vent/rant and felt good to get some of it down.