DS not talking to me but ok I think?

[dotnetmum]

My son has been diagnosed with depression last year while at uni. He has been at home from uni over Christmas, he stayed in his room the whole time. I had to travel for work this week and when I got back he is still at home. It is revision week at uni and tests next week. But I am not sure if he is here for the revision week and going back later or home because he can't cope with uni and is back for good.
I didn't want to push him, I told him I was going to support him whatever he decides, via sms, no response. I am tired and really don't want to fight. I sms him that it is a bit rude and that he should at least tell me the basic situation.
When I came back i realised that he has been cooking, tidying after himself and washing clothes etc, which I am happy about because I think those are good signs. Since he is not talking with me, I feel rejection that is hard to take, but at least he seems to be doing better. Last year was very down and angry.
I think I will just have to wait for him to come out of his room and talk with me. Who knows might just disappear back to uni tomorrow?
Is there anything else I should/can do?

Didn't want to read and run but I have no real advice. I'm quite new to this and probably a couple of years behind you on this journey. I find I need to just be available and wait for my DS to talk, not that he says much when he does. It's so hard isn't it?

When you're depressed simply existing can feel stressful and completely overwhelming. It could be that he wants to keep his life a little bit simpler and focus on himself for the moment in order to make things feel more manageable and aid his recovery. Don't take it personally.

Another thing is that it's possible he could simply be an introverted or solitary type person. Typically during mid teens to early twenties people start to grow into their adult personality. It could be that or it could just be the depression as I mentioned before, or perhaps a combination of both.

Thank you for the reply! I feel so unsure about everything around this that your advice and responses means a lot.

This is difficult but I don't see why you can't knock on his door , go in and have a chat with him

A catch up, to find out what's happening

After all, he's living in your house so finding out his movements and plans in a totally non judgemental way, doesn't seem unreasonable to me

Maybe he needs some help to decide what to do or someone to bounce ideas off

Are his meds working? Should they be changed? Should he see a doctor at home rather than the uni doctor? Change his diet?

Lots of options but they all start with communication

And remember - if you're 'ignoring ' him because you don't know what to say, he may think you don't care???

It's not like that. I have knocked and asked to talk several times but he just said go away from behind the closed door. Today I came home from work and found him in the living room watching tv. I played it casual and asked him something about food, and he completely ignored me. I sat down with a cup of tea and in 5 mins when his programme finished, he got up and went upstairs to his room again. I feel hurt.
The thing is about 6 months away he stormed out and went and stayed with his sister in her single room uni place for a short period. I am scare that if I push him then he will storm off somewhere, at least here he is safe. His sister is not around this time, she is working overseas.