Please help me make sense of what I just did

[Suesie]

I am 6 months post partum.
Baby is not sleeping and I have been poorly for 2 weeks, although I am getting better. I am just very tired. I didnt think I had ppd as I did with DC1, however I have just completely lost it and smashed a picture in my lounge after hurling something at it.
Basically, getting DCs ready for bed. We have piles of washing to put away before tomorrow as I have someone coming to the house.

DC1 was following me around talking incessantly as I did a few last minute jobs, DH was getting the baby ready for bed and he was screaming. DC1 was being v repetitive and followed me into the toilet, I repeatedly asked her to go to her room and i would be there shortly but she wanted me to play a game and kept repeating "so you're the lion, I'm the monkey" over and over. I went in to DH who was with the screaming baby to work out who was going to finish downstairs and upstairs. DC1 would not stop talking. I eventually shouted and sent her to her room. This was followed by DH saying "well you could have done X earlier, why didn't you?" When I had been doing a ton of other jobs, one of them cleaning the bed linen after I bled all over it due to a heavy period. I ended up explaining myself then walking out crying went downstairs, threw an ornament at a picture on the wall... glass everywhere. I'm shocked at myself.
Nobody saw, DCs upstairs.
DH is shocked too.
Should I see the doctor?
How can I avoid losing it like this?
How could I have handled the situation better. I feel like running away, bit can't as I have to bf DC2 to sleep 😥

I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed right now. Sounds completely normal - you're under a lot of stress.

Does sound like you need to talk to someone about the stress you're under and how you're feeling. If a professional, then don't be ashamed or embarrassed - they're there to help.

In the mean time, perhaps worth opening up to your DH and reaching out for support from him. You're a team don't forget, better or worse.

Best wishes

Of course it's not ideal but I get how overwhelming it can feel when it seems as though everyone is demanding something from you.

Not wanting to sound like a voice of doom but there will be hundreds of instances over the next 10 years or so when you will be feeling similarly overwhelmed.

It's good to develop a strategy now for how to deal with those kind of feelings.

Speak to your husband so that he is not one of the demanding voices. And it's fine to go and punch a pillow, scream out a window, etc.

I recently read an article written by a gynaecologist that said he gives his daughter Progestin (progesterone ) after they give birth because it is so low after having a baby and it prevents PND.

Could you ask your dr to check your levels?