Is it really possible to get better?

[LondonLatoya]

I suffer from severe anxiety.

I have an 11 week old and really need to deal with my anxiety now I'm responsible for another human being.

I've tried numerous different medications but never stuck with them due to either having awful side effects, or just not believing they will work.

I'm exhausted, and I've lived with anxiety for the best part of 20 years.

I've had it this long that I feel like it's not possible to get better. Even if only slightly.

I'm really low and think I'm developing PND.

I don't want to be told 'it'll all be okay' - I want it to actually BE okay for once.

Well I was sectioned after I developed post natal psychosis after my fourth child. I was on antidepressants, lithium, antipsychotics, tranquilisers and medication to deal with the side effects. I had twelve sessions of ECT besides.
I had a very supportive psychiatrist and I recovered and eight years later I had another baby and had no need for any mental health support and haven't needed to take any medication since I recovered.
So yes it can and does get better but you most likely need to get some support from MH professionals to get you on the road to recovery. Go and see your GP and get some help and god luck.

Thank you @fleshmarketclose that must have been really tough to deal with. I honestly feel like the support you get (or that I have had in the past) has been really poor. I just feel so deflated.

Start writing down your fears...

One a page.... The write down what has really happened... So you can see the worse never ever happened...

That's such a temporary fix though @mummmy2017 - I think I need some real, substantial help or else I think I'll fall apart.

No there is a view that if you can show yourself that your over thinking thinks.... That you can talk yourself down.
It is a recognised way to treat stress.

OP, medications do work, at least they can significantly mitigate the anxiety, but you need to tough out the side effects, horrid as they can be.
I started Sertraline in early December and it was awful for a month or so and then it got lots better.
I sympathise - anxiety is exhausting and suffocating.

Yes, it is really possible to get better. (My story is not the same as @fleshmarketclose but it is sort of in the ballpark - btw @fleshmarketclose thank you for sharing. Your story is inspiring for me as I am not as far along as you are a.)

Unfortunately (for me at least) it is also possible to get worse again so I do keep an eye out for that.

I know of some incredible recovery stories. Anxiety is really really difficult though; I also think if you are looking to the NHS to "fix" you you might not get what you feel you need there in part because the NHS is so overstretched and in part because what is on offer there does not work for everyone.

Have you tried anything else aside from medications? I can give you a laundry list of things that help me and things that don't but it's all rather trial and error IME.

Hi @erinaceus - I've tried medications, SSRIs and beta blockers. I've tried mindfulness, counselling, making lists, talking to other people about it. And I've just given up really. Never had CBT but I've reached a point where I've kind of given up and genuinely feel like nothing could possibly rid me of my anxiety.

Sure. In that case, there are lots of things that have not been tried yet, if you would like more suggestions. It is tough when you have an 11 week old, I would imagine. I never quite made it to having children which is one of the reasons I found @fleshmarketclose's story so striking.

One thing that helped me was to understand the physiology of anxiety. I was really surprised to learn some of the symptoms that I had always thought of as my own idiosyncrasies were related to anxiety.

Yes definitely agree about it being possible to get worse again. I have to be really tuned in to how I'm feeling and recognise when I'm feeling low and prioritise the things that keep me well. So good food, exercise and time to spend doing things I enjoy and help me feel good.
I consider it vital tbh because when I was ill the psych believed I wuld need medication always to stay well. I didn't particularly like how I felt on medication and some of the side effects were awful so I was eager to be weaned off.
It has worked for me for many years anyway although I wouldn't discount going back to medication I just prefer to not have to.