Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Can someone help me please

8 replies

AnonymousPlease123 · 03/01/2019 22:19

Sorry if I ramble on, I’ve never actually spoken about this properly to anyone so I’ve got a good few months worth of feelings to let out blush

I had an abortion in June. I feel absolutely devastated at what I have done and it has completely changed me as a person. Beforehand, I had a lot of self confidence. I was very happy and had a lot of self esteem! I was also very social, used to go out every weekend and had a lot of friends. However, my self confidence has deteriorated. I feel awful about what I have done and have never felt so low about myself in my life. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing what I look like. I don’t like leaving the house anymore - I very rarely go out as I much prefer to stay in bed! I make all sorts of excuses to my friends about why I can’t go somewhere with them which has made issues worse because all but one of them doesn’t seem to care about how I feel. I went on holiday with them for a week in August and stayed in the room most of the time which just led to torment from them. Only one of my friends understands how I feel (not the extent to it - she just guessed I’m in a low place and messaged me sometimes to see how I am) and the rest just seem to pick on me when I am with them. This wasn’t the case previously.

As for my confidence, it is just completely gone. I feel like my life is awful. I will cry because I feel so shit about myself, which makes me cry about the baby, and then cry about all the other issues in my life. This happens a few times a week and the only way I can describe it is it makes me want to kill myself. I hate saying that because a very close member of family did commit suicide but it’s true - feeling like this I’d rather be dead than alive.

I feel so ungrateful because on the surface my life has improved so much since June! I have got a great job, my relationship is going well, I’ve bought myself my dream car... but the truth is I was just so much happier a year ago as a single, skint student. I feel absolutely awful for my boyfriend because he thinks it’s his fault I feel this way. I’ve talked about my issues a little bit with him but I wouldn’t tell him about my suicidal thoughts because that would just worry him no end and I don’t want to burden him with that.

I’ve suffered in silence basically for over 6 months now! I’ve always toyed with the idea of going to the doctor but I am just so bloody scared to do it I never have. I have decided it is now or never; I am clearly not coping on my own and as it gets closer to what would have been my due date (end of this month) I just feel worse and worse and worse sad. What would I even say to my doctor? I feel like I’d just start crying as soon as I start to talk about it. I find it so hard. What do I say to the receptionist on the phone? I feel embarrassed because I’ve brought this all upon myself.

Sorry for going on and on and thank you to anyone who reads this smile

OP posts:
AnonymousPlease123 · 03/01/2019 22:19

Sorry tried to use emojis but they didn’t work so ignore the words blush sad etc...

OP posts:
showmeyourgroovymoves · 03/01/2019 22:28

Please see your GP. They WILL be able to help. If you can't speak about your feelings, print out what you have just typed and show them.

mineofuselessinformation · 03/01/2019 22:34

No, you haven't brought this on yourself.
You are suffering from a reaction to having to make a decision that you clearly are struggling with. (I am not anti-abortion by the way,)
Do see your GP. If you cry, you cry - it's the way that you are feeling right now. You may need some counselling, or some medication to help you through this, but your GP should be able to help you.
I really hope you can reach out and get some help.

Stardustinmyeyes · 03/01/2019 22:40

It's terrible that you feel so awful, I understand about the due date coming up. As pp said please go and see your GP, they will be able to help.
You won't need to tell the receptionist why, just practice saying it out loud, I'd like to make an appointment to see the doctor.
If you cry I'm sure they're used to people being upset for loads of different reasons. Is there anyone in real life that you can talk to? You made your decision for whatever reasons and those reasons still hold true now. Please stop beating yourself up for making that decision. If you ever feel suicidal then try the Samaritans, they will listen and not judge you. Please phone your GP

messyhousetidymind · 03/01/2019 23:33

Please see your Gp and perhaps a counsellor, you've experienced a loss and there's no shame in needing support.

If you have to give an appointment reason to the receptionist you can just say you are feeling very low in mood.

Best wishes to you

mrsgumpy · 04/01/2019 01:11

I had an abortion 5 weeks ago and understand.

Please go see your GP and get some medication for depression. It will help you get through this phase and help you rebuild you life. You don't have to be on the medication for ever - just to help you get through this.

I think having people to talk to also helps - it takes the shame away from what you did, which will help you to heal.

xxx

Banana1979 · 04/01/2019 01:22

After my abortion i was so disgusted with myself i wanted to end it. There is so much emphasis on a woman's choice however we forget the aftermath of what we did..the guilt the pain ect..i hate myself still but not as much as b4 as i felt MUCH better after i did a confession in church and recieved forgiveness.. so if you are religous id reccomend this. If you are not religous then you need to forgive yourself. You did what you thought was right at the time and you need to let go of the self loathing. You will and can go on to have another child

Banana1979 · 04/01/2019 01:23

Sending you a great big hug

New posts on this thread. Refresh page