Is this anxiety - any tips for coping?

[RowenaFlower]

I worry a lot, stress out over stuff. Usually I don’t have a clear idea of what the problem is, but I have issues like feeling tense and worried, tummy hurting, issues sleeping.

This evening I have sat down and tried to write a list of what makes me worried. A lot is about other people. Here is what I came up with when I wrote down my worries:

My best friend is angry with me.
My parents are disappointed in me.
I forgot to return something to my sister and now she’s fuming.
My SIL doesn’t like me.
My MIL talks crap about me behind my back.
My colleagues all hope I won’t come back from maternity leave.

So I understand these things may or may not be true. But to worry about it, that’s anxiety right? I know my case might be mild compared to other people’s, but does that seem right, that this is a form of anxiety?

Does anyone have any tips for coping with this kinda thing? Many thanks xx

Very very mildly I would say. Probably more feeling anxious rather than anxiety as in the disorder. If you were suffering from an anxiety disorder it doesn't tend to be so easy to identify what you're worrying about. Bit like the difference between being depressed and actually having depression. You can actually identify what is stressing you out so maybe CBT techniques like worry time would be helpful to you?

Try writing things down. What is your problem? Your MIL talking shit behind your back. Ok, is it a real problem? Do you know for sure she's doing it? Let's say yes. So why is it a problem? Why do you care? What impact does it have on your life. It doesn't. She's making a show of herself, not you, it's her people will be thinking badly of for being a raging bitch. So what purpose is the worrying about it serving? It isn't.

Try and work each worry out in that format. What is it? Is it true? Can you confirm this? What impact does it have on your life? Can it be resolved? What are the options? (no matter how stupid. Flouncing off to another country away from your MIL can definitely make the list.) Which option is the best and most achievable of the lot? Can you do it? If not, why not? All resolvable worries get dealt with. So for example text your sister that you are sorry and will drop the item round later with a bottle of wine to apologise and then its out of your hands, you've done what you can. If the worry is not resolvable or is out of your hands then it gets relegated to worry time.

You get half hour per day to worry about the worries that you can't immediately resolve. Think about them, note down anything that can be done to deal with them and when and set yourself a reminder on your phone/Alexa or whatever to do so. Once worry time is over make a conscious effort to stop thinking about them. For example your colleagues hoping you won't come back. Well it's unpleasant but they'll have to live in hope until you decide. That isn't immediately resolvable so worry time and then say fuck it until tomorrows worry time. If anything pops into your head in the day, write it down and put it aside both physically and mentally until worry time.

My best friend is angry with me.
My parents are disappointed in me.
I forgot to return something to my sister and now she’s fuming.
My SIL doesn’t like me.
My MIL talks crap about me behind my back.
My colleagues all hope I won’t come back from maternity leave

They're all thoughts and thoughts are not real. Thoughts only become real when you believe in them. They then become your reality.
Slowdown think about it. Thoughts are not real!!!!

Hello, this sounds like it could be anxiety - to me (not a medical expert but fellow sufferer) whether mild or severe depends on the extent to which it is interfering with your daily life - are you avoiding / putting off certain things / situations because of your worries? Sleeping issues are a possible warning sign. CBT techniques work well for worrying - you could speak to your GP and see if they will refer you for some online or face to face sessions. A few book suggestions if you prefer a self help route include 'The Worry Cure' by Robert Leahy, and the 'This book will make you ....' series which covers 'fearless' 'calm' and 'happy'. Also you could look into relaxation / mindfulness (the headspace app is great) or working more activity into you're routine (yoga, swimming and running work well for me). Hope you feel better soon!