How have your friendships been since you have had MH problems?

[UhOh4321]

Have they been supportive? Mine just do not understand me anymore and seem to be slowly disappearing. It's upsetting me so much I feel like a teenager again, not a 30 year old woman!

I haven't told everyone, just people I know I can trust and who have had struggles themselves. I'm still the same person, nothing's changed. I just have a label now, that's all. That's rubbish that people aren't being supportive. Just use it as an arsehole filter.

They’re hard to keep up, I’ve had mh problems my whole life and I do struggle with friendships due to social anxiety etc.

It’s hard.

My friends met up without me to talk about me, my husband and my son a. A friend pub quiz a few years ago. A different friend overheard them and told me so I ghosted all three and improved my life tenfold. The majority of their discussion was based on my poor mental health. I mentioned it once when they put pressure on me to attend something I really could not go to, so it's not like I talked about myself all the time, quite the opposite.

*at a pub quiz. Not sure what happened there!

Shit. People who I thought were friends in my life were actually just fake with no genuine empathy or understanding.

I have found that as soon as my life started to fall apart and I'd tell people what was going on, they'd back right off and run a mile.

Everything you see on social media about mental health is 'it's okay not to be okay'and 'let's talk', 'talk to friends and family' etc but the reality and major cause of people being tipped over the edge imo, is that people are selfish and see this as 'being negative' rather than seeing someone in need of support.

People are drawn to happy, successful, good looking people, if you're not that then you've had it.

Same experience as Failing. All this shit they share on social media about how their door is always open, any of their friends can talk to them any time, its all bollocks. They run a mile.

Yet when I kill myself I guarantee, they'll be all over my facebook going OMG why didn't she just reach out/tell someone/she could have talked to us. I've tried to talk to you, you selfish cunts. When they do, I just really hope someone rips them a new one for it.

I find people who havnt suffered anxiety or depression or panic have no understanding whatsoever. First time they my say awh you ok, after that it’s “ just get on with it, don’t think about it “. Emmm if I could I would.

They dont get it. They think you can just stop worrying and stop crying and get on with it. It isn't that easy, if it were then we wouldn't be struggling.

My experience is that you find out who your real friends are when you go through MH difficulties! I've lost some friends along the way and I struggle with maintaining friendships sometimes because anxiety can make me flakey (which I massively beat myself up about). Sorry that your friends aren't supporting you better.

That said, I am really lucky to have also experienced the acceptance of a small handful of great friends who have been consistently dependable and not given up on me. They don't always 'get it' but they have continued to love me and supported in ways they knew how; listening to me, being patient with me, visiting me during hospital admissions, returning with clean laundry I often didn't know they had taken away with them, encouraging me to put some clothes on and leave my flat, to name just a few,. I know I am so fortunate.

It's really difficult but I just wanted to encourage you that there are some special people out there - and if people are poor friends because you are unwell, it's completely them and not you.