Scared of going back to GP with anxiety

[bellainthemiddle]

I'm 11 weeks pregnant and have been having terrible anxiety for the last few months, to the point where I can't really function and am constantly in a state of total terror and panic. I was prescribed Sertraline 50mg by Out of Hours 2 weeks back and one of the GPs at my surgery OK'd me to carry on with it last week.

I'm going back on Monday to review the meds/dosage and I'm getting in a stupid state of anxiety about it already. I have actually been feeling more anxious on Sertraline, not sleeping and having scary dark thoughts, but it seems like this can often happen. (It has also made me constantly nauseous and I've lost quite a bit of weight, which is not reducing my stress levels!)

I don't know why I've got this total terror of going back to the GP but I'm just scared they will tell me to pull myself together and get on with life - and I feel like at the moment everything is overwhelming. It's totally nonsensical because I'll actually be seeing my regular GP this time, who is usually great - but I'm still scared of basically being told that I'm a failure! Doesn't help that I have a huge report due at work on Wednesday, which I have not made great headway with yet.

Basically I need somebody to tell me to stop being a baby and pull myself together, I think!

Read what you just wrote about your gp - they are usually great, they’ve never told you you’re a failure or anything like that before (and if they did they would be the worst GP ever!!). This is your anxiety talking.

Try to take some slow deep breaths and focus on your breathing when these thought start up. You’re going to get the help you need. You’re doing everything right.

Thank you - what you say is absolute sense and helps me to rationalise a bit! I had a slightly bad experience at the surgery a few weeks ago when I was so overcome by anxiety that I couldn't sleep and was in floods of tears on and off throughout the day. I basically begged for some kind of help and a couple of days signed off work to get my head together, and the doctor (who I think was new and certainly hadn't seen me before) basically said, try harder and off you go!

The breathing thing is a good tip. I keep getting this scary feeling of not being able to breathe - my heart races and I get all hot and cold at the same time. I don't know if it's a panic attack or just a hormonal thing, but I don't like it!

Can you take you partner or a friend with you?or write down everything you want to say in advance. Then you can read it out or just hand it over

I'm sorry you are going through this.

I felt the same once before going to my GP, yet he was so understanding.

I wrote it all down beforehand, which worked wonders.

Good luck and know that he will genuinely want to help you.

OH has to be at work unfortunately, but I have a few friends who won't be and would probably be happy to come and support. I think, though, at the end of the day, I'll probably be OK to go on my own! I'm just scared I'll get very anxious or burst into tears (either very possible on current form!) but I'll try to be tough :)

Thank you both - will definitely try writing it down!

Bella - I burst into tears almost immediately and just handed him my note.

He was very understanding and I was not expecting that, having taken my son to him previously - the Dr had been very much old school/matter of fact.

The worry about going took over and the relief of just going saw me burst out in tears. I hope you will feel better after going as the thought is much worse.

GPs are seeing a rise in this and I suspect they are more sympathetic than we think.

Try to do something nice to take your mind off it (impossible I know when adrenalin and worry course through every vein) and be kind to yourself.

My GP is not at all old-school - in fact, she's very approachable and sympathetic and we usually have a nice chat!

Logically, I don't know what I'm worried about but...

Okay, take a moment, you're pregnant and on a new medication, two huge changes which are going to have effects. I think for a start some proper mindfulness will really help you to not only relax but to take note with whats going on with your thoughts and physical reactions, instead of panicking you'll be able to notice whats going on and let it pass. Get the headspace app, most people use that for mindfulness, but if thats not ur thing then youtube have great mindfulness videos, or I dont know if you've heard of body scans, where you mentally scan your own body and describe to yourself how each part of your body feels as you work down from head to toe, I think thats one of the best things to do.

You also have to understand that crying is okay hun, your body is going through changes and crying is actually a physical release of tension, have a good cry and I'm sure you'll feel a lot better after!

Keep being rational and be aware of your thoughts, it'll keep you grounded, your thoughts and feelings are completely normal for what your going through, just keep that in mind

Xxx

Sending huge sympathy as have had dreadful and constant anxiety and panic in the past, including while ttc.
I took DH to GP with me & wrote everything I wanted to say / ask down so I wouldn't forget / wimp out. It took a few visits to get a GP I clicked with but I eventually found 2 excellent gps at the surgery who were very supportive and signed me off for 2 weeks at a time for several months while I made a slow (but good) recovery, with the help of ADs + therapy. Hope it goes okay x

Ps. I know the feeling of not wanting to cry - I'm very sensitive & cry easily, which makes me feel weak and immature. However, it's supposed to be a good way of getting rid of stress hormones so not all bad!
I cried to about 4 gps, all my therapists, at work (mainly in the loo but also sobbed at my boss & a few colleges), on public transport, during, a terrible job interview, shops, supermarket, weddings, etc... all of which felt mortifying.
But now when I see someone crying in public I feel pangs of sympathy towards them and feel like I want to help them, rather than judging or thinking badly of them , so hopefully others feel that way too 🙂

@KarBB, thank you for making me feel a bit more normal about the crying! I'm not usually tearful at all (OH claimed a few weeks ago that he has never seen me cry before, which I find hard to believe in 5 years, but maybe!!) but lately I've been crying anywhere and everywhere, about everything and about nothing at all!

I did manage to psych myself up for the appointment today, and it was fine! The doctor was very nice and said to stick with the Sertraline, although she was a bit worried about the weight loss and wants me to drink some kind of weird super-high calorie milkshakes. I have another appointment in two weeks time - I was feeling kind of bad about taking up so much appointment time without being ill, but the doctor said that this was silly and that I shouldn't feel guilty! So I do feel a bit better about this one thing at least - hopefully I'm not going to be quite so anxious about going to the surgery next time!