Horrible dream I killed my child.

[Doyoulikebrocoli]

Wasn't sure where to post this, so hope this is alright here.

I've been having nightmares for the past three nights in a row but what i dreamt last night has disturbed me and upset me so much I just feel like I need to talk about it, but due to its nature I can't talk to a single person irl about it.

I dreamt that I killed my almost 2 year old DS. It was a horrendously real feeling dream, very graphic, I won't go into details as I can't bear to type it out. In my dream I regretted it instantly and felt a massive wave of guilt and sorrow, which has stuck with me even now that I'm awake.
Then in my dream a huge spider jumped on me and got tangled in my hair. I woke up after that and burst into tears and immediately had to go and hug my DS.

I have no idea why I would dream something so horrid, I have had nightmares before but nothing with content like that, nothing so personal to me. I love my DS to bits and I just can't believe my brain would even show me something like that.

Trying to go on with my day with DS as normal but definitely feel deeply disturbed about what I dreamt. Has anyone else had any disturbing dream like this?

I’ve had similar horrid dreams. Please don’t read too much into it and get too upset - we dream through our worried and it sounds like perhaps you’re concerned about your dc. Spend a lovely day with him - lots of cuddles - and hopefully the horrible memory or the dream will fade.

Worries, not worried. Sorry.

Try not to dwell on it. I had a similar dream a few years ago and still remember it vividly now.
I spoke to my mum about it at the time and she said maybe I thought I wasn't doing a good enough job as a mum and those fears manifested as the awful dream.
Give him extra hugs today and be kind to yourself. I remember how awful I felt for days afterwards

Awful, aren't they! I once dreamt I had my dd put down, like you would a very sick animal! Felt sick for days. All you can do is distract yourself to try and forget about it.

When I'm really stressed and not on top of things, I dream that I have a pet I've forgotten about and that now I've remembered it, it's on the point of death and there's probably nothing I can do to save it. When things are worse, it's a horse. At its very worst, it's a baby. It's horrible, but I can see how this is about me worrying about what I've forgotten to do and feeling guilty about letting people down. I've learnt over time that it makes me acknowledge that I'm struggling to meet all the demands on me.

What were the feelings that went along with the dream? Fear of losing or even destroying something precious to you? Or a need for more freedom? For me, a dream like this tells you something in a very extreme way that is a truth you can't face in waking life. Of course you don't want to kill your child!!, but are you struggling with the fact that you're not getting back the life you had before? Motherhood is overwhelming and such a huge change to adjust to. Or is it just that you're scared of losing what you have now you're a mum?

It might be nothing to do with your DC, it could
be general anxiety or a fear of losing something precious, or of making a mistake - does that chime with another area of your life like work?

Whatever, having this dream does not make you a bad person or mum.

Feel slightly relieved I'm not the only one to have dreamt something like this!
allthatmalarkey what you've said makes sense, my DS has suspected ASD and we are going through a challenging patch right now, so it makes sense that it's an extreme way of missing the life I had before.

I just hope I don't have another one like it, the feeling I've got with me now is awful.

It's just a stress/anxiety dream, I know the feeling all too well. When you wake up feeling shaken and upset. I get them very often.

The worst one was an awful dream that I had murdered a person in my town centre (coincidentally, after watching similar plots on hollyoaks of all things!) I couldn't shake the feeling after the dream and I had such high anxiety and stress at the time anyway that I started worrying if parts of it were true and it was a memory flooding back, not a dream. 😖 it wasn't! Honestly! I just lost the plot for a while going through a stressful time.

The feelings will die down later and you'll be able to shake it off. You just need to tell your brain it's not real x

Agree with everyone else these dreams are stress or anxiety dreams. I dreamt about watching the son of a friend die last night. It was horrible and woke me up and it takes a while for the dream emotions to dissipate.